Nightfall
by EdenEmilie
Summary: My MidnightSun "...and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth: I was now and would always be in love with her."
1. And So It Begins

Long I stood there waiting, wishing, fearing. Dreaming dreams that no immortal ever dared dream before. – Edgar Allan Poe

**Preface**

In that moment, my triumphant epiphany was not winning a game, but a simple clarity;  
the realization that she had always been meant for me, and that my past months of torment had only proved how much I could not live without her. She had forever become the foundation of my existence.

Every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth:

I was now and would always be in love with her.


	2. Escape

Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters or storyline..ect (Duh)

Please R&R. Btw.. : ) thank you to all of the readers who have already left reviews! I love you guys!

**P.S. in case you don't catch on.. the story starts when Edward reaches Alaska. The first chapter of Midnight Sun has already been written and you can check it out at Stephenie (freaking awesome) Meyers website.**

Sorry it is kind of short. Trust me the next one will be much longer. I kinda skip right to him going to school on moday..and just highlight was happened right when he got back.

**Chapter One **/pdf/midnightsunchapter1.pdf( she is a god for writing this!!)

**Chapter Two – Escape**

Time.

Many a song, proverb and story had been written about it. How it was majestic and glorious in its silence, how time would tell all. How I was supposed to cherish every moment of every day. Live like it was my last, as it was often put.

But the irony of it was, that it was not my last second, or last day, I would never have the joy of knowing such a thing.

Time, which for over a hundred years had meant very little to me, meant everything now. Right now time was nothing more than a burden. A curse. It was time that was preventing me from returning home to the ones I love. It was time that had chosen to place that girl in that forsaken classroom.

There was eternity, endless amounts of time still to come, and the millions that had already passed, but time has chosen that exact moment to unleash its fury.

I ground my teeth together to suppress the rage burning through my chest. How _dare_ she! Right then and there she had nearly annihilated everything that Carlisle had spent hundreds of years building for us. For me.

I let my thoughts trail dangerously back to the memory of what had nearly happened in that foredoomed classroom. The memory of when my family's existence was nearly shattered and exposed. All because of some insignificant girl. A _human_ girl.



My muscles involuntarily tensed, waited for the wrecking ball that had blindsided me no more than a few days ago when the human had walked past a vent.

To me, she was no human. She was a demon, cruel and ruthless, summoned from my own personal hell to destroy me.

I braced myself for the battering ram that would undoubtedly crush me back down into the blackness of the monster within. But it never came. The red haze that had all but consumed me before, remained at bay.

I sighed in immeasurable relief. God had decided to be merciful today.

I took a moment to carefully examine my surroundings. Two days ago I had chosen the top of a mountain, in the middle of a frozen wasteland, as my safe harbor. Tanya had insisted that I stay with them for the remainder of my stay, but shame had clouded my judgment, and now here I was. Hundreds of miles into frigid isolation. Forlorn and alone.

Esme would surely chastise me if she knew where I was.

Guilt mercilessly punched a hole through my chest when the reality of what I had done sank in. I had been spineless, and left without saying a word to her. My siblings -so to speak- would be fine. Even Carlisle had somehow understood my reasoning.

But Esme, in all her eternal love and affection, would be heartbroken. She would be as miserable as the last time I had left. She would feel like she had lost yet another child.  
My mother was the last person on the planet to deserve that kind of treatment.

Instantly, determination coursed through my veins. Why should _I_ have to leave? Who was she, and insignificant human girl, to drive me from the place I wanted to be. I belonged with my family, not on some arctic mountain on the farthest corner of Alaska.

I was _not_ weak. And I was _not_ going to be driven away by some common human. My reasonings for retreating from Forks suddenly seemed idiotic.

She surely couldn't have had the same staggering effect as the one that I remembered. She had merely surprised me. I had grown numb to the humans during my monotonous existence, and her scent had instantly provoked me. I had no time to prepare. If I had been given some kind of premonition, a warning, I would have fared exponentially better.

I immediately pushed myself up off the ground, and took off into a dead sprint. Having always been the fastest one in our coven, I had no doubt that if I pushed myself, I could make it back by nightfall.

Then return back to school on Monday.

She would receive no special treatment, I could treat her identical as I did all the other humans. I was strong enough to act like she had no effect on me whatsoever.



I racked my brains for the girl's name. It had meant close to nothing the last time I had seen her. I scavenged and searched through all of my memories from that particular day, looking for a syllable, a letter, anything that could help… Then it hit me.

Isabella Swan.

All it took was a second to explode though the thick fog of my fury and resentment. All it took was a second for me to see it. To see _her_.

_Bella_. Her stunning brown eyes had a depth to them that took my breath away, and for a fraction of a second I could have sworn I felt my heart beat.

I mentally lashed at myself in an instant for allowing myself to think in such a way. She was a human, and would be treated as such. I strained forward and pushed myself to go even faster, ignoring the fact that my legs ached under the pressure.

I would never let that human girl have that same alarming effect on me again. Because as much as I was unwilling to admit it, it frightened me. All around, the abundant broad pine trees flashed by at unparalleled speeds.

But no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't escape the echoing of her name in my head.

**Shout Outs**

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	3. Snow Angel

Please R&R!! Every other day this story gets hundreds of hits..but hardly anyone reviews : (

Disclaimer – I am not stephenie meyer and I do not own the twilight series or anything in it. (duh)

Chapter 2: Snow Angel

'_Maybe I should invite her to the party this weekend…or not, Bella doesn't really seem like the type to get drunk...' _ Kayla Spencer rambled in her head from the desk next to mine. Across the room, Brandon Niles – a skinny sophomore- was busy replaying the scene of when Bella had unknowingly brushed up against him in the hallway after first period. He was toying with the idea, imagining himself much more masculine, and had actually mustered up the courage to ask her on a date. _'Damn that new chick is hot! What I wouldn't give to get a piece of that.' _Tanner Jones fantasized lecherously from a classroom down the hall.

An unfamiliar emotion burned and scorched in core of my chest. I fought dawn a snarl threatening to escape. Why was I acting this way? Why should I care if a corrupted boy was visualizing lustful images of _her._

I took a moment to ponder the obscure alien emotion that had just surged through me. Coming up blank, I turned my trail of thought to a less frustrating topic.

When I had returned home last Friday, Esme had –of course- been overjoyed, and welcomed me back with open arms. Carlisle had already explained to her why I had fled, but she was nothing less that supportive, urging me to do whatever I had to do, and assuring me that she would always care about me, no matter what mistakes I might make. It was much more than I could have ever deserved.

Aside from my adoptive parents, Alice was the only one who knew the true reason I had left so abruptly, and I intended to keep it that way. I knew it wasn't feasible to keep a secret for long in our home, but I had to try.

I glanced at the large plastic clock hanging in the front of the room. 11:10, only twenty more minutes of tedious note taking over World War 2. I had already lived through it once, the last thing I needed was an egotistical old man acting like he knew more about it than myself.

After a few monotonous minutes, a voice distinguished itself from the mass. _'I have some good news!' _I snapped out of my stupor. If anyone could cheer me up, it was Alice. '_It's snowing outside!'_ She cheered with glee. Even though she was in a room on the other side of the building, I could practically see her bouncing up and down in her chair. I looked around the room, silently cursing Mr. Jund for insisting on always keeping the shades in his room drawn. _'Prepare for a snowball fight! Emmett is on my team this time.'_ She added eagerly.

I immediately shifted my train of thinking toward battle formations. Jasper would be on my team, so we definitely had the upper hand.



When the bell finally rang, I raced out to the farthest edge of the parking lot. We had always held our matches here, for the most part it was out of the humans view. I spotted Alice and Emmett hunched over behind my Volvo. I felt no guilt in eavesdropping on their plans, Alice had her own way of cheating. "Alright, you go right, I'll go hide behind that big red truck over there, and attack from the left" Emmett whispered urgently.

I felt my hands involuntarily clench when I realized exactly whose car he was speaking of. Why could not go a single minute without being reminded of her in some shape or form? I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose in a weak attempt to quell my pent up frustration.

"You ready?" Jasper asked from a few yards away. "Of course." My voice sounded more acidic than I had intended for it to be.

He gave me a long curious stare before running to his hiding spot. _'What's gotten in him these days? He's always on edge. I'd be willing to bet it has something to do with why he has started hunting so much.' _I stared guiltily down at the gravel pavement. He was dead on, as usual. I felt immensely guilty for keeping them all in the dark, but I could barely handle the situation the way it was, the last thing I needed was everyone else giving me their unwanted opinions.

I tried to refocus my attention back to the task at hand. "Ready?" Alice chirped from behind a tree. "Set" Jasper called from behind a large blue minivan. "GO!" Emmett boomed as he dove sideways from behind the truck. _Her _truck.

Snow balls flew from every direction as we launched them at each other. "Two points for our team!" I yelled, over all of our hysteric laugher. "No way! You guys cheat!" My sister accused. "Alice, cover me!" Emmett's baritone voice could be heard all the way to the school building. His shot missed Jasper by at least a foot. "You're going to slow!" Jasper mocked as he launched one of the densely packed balls, skimming only centimeters above Emmett's shoulder, and straight toward the petite creature behind him. _Plop._ Freezing droplets dripped off of her face as we all froze in complete speechlessness. After no more than a few seconds, Emmet's booming laughter broke the silence. "Uhhhh Ohhh! You are in sooooo much trouble!" I rolled my eyes, he said the most childish things sometimes. "Jasper you are _so_ dead!" She roared as she dove for another snowball.

No more than ten minutes into the game, Jasper and I were undeniably in the lead. Alice giggled uncontrollably as Emmett and Jasper tackled her into a snow drift, I took a step to go join in.

And then I saw it.

An angel, with deep chocolate brown eyes and a radiant smile. _Beautiful, _was the only coherent word I could think of. My train of thought froze up, moving at lethargic speeds. My body couldn't move, everything on me had gone completely numb. It had temporarily stunned me. At that moment nothing in my life mattered, the only thing in the world has the angel. Everything shut down, like a bird caught in a vipers stare. The only thing that mattered, the only thing I could see, was her. My hands stared to shake. _Beautiful. _



"Wow! It's snowing!" Mike Newton's shrill voice broke through my trance. I immediately gasper for air, when had I stopped breathing?. "Ew." Was all she said. Then I realized, the angel I saw was _her_. I had seen her in that boys thoughts. I slowly held my hands to eye level, they were still trembling. "You don't like snow?" _is she crazy?! _"No, that means it's too cold for rain."

I stopped listening. I was in shock. How could I have lost control like that? All it had taken was seeing her face, and I was gone. Every shred of my consciousness had disappeared. I hadn't had time to brace myself, time to think of anything at all. All I had seen was her.

I clenched my fists and bore my glare into the pavement. _WHY!? _Was the one word repeating itself in my head. "Come on you guys, the bell is going to ring any minute." Alice called. I looked up, _she_ was gone, and Newton was chasing down Eric Yorkie was a mass of frozen snow.

"Coming, Edward?" Jasper called over his shoulder has the three of them walked down the sidewalk to the cafeteria. Rosalie was going to be furious when she saw how soaked Emmett had gotten.

We were the first ones in the lunch line –as usual- not that it matter when we pick up our daily props for lunch. "You wish! We completely annihilated you two." Emmett argued "Yeah, whatever you say big guy." Jasper barked sarcastically. "I swear, if any of you guys get me wet, I'm gunna freak." Rosalie threatened.

I could already hear Emmett forming a plan; it had something to do with his hair. They all bantered and laughed all the way to the table. I remained focused on the phenomenon that had just occurred. Why had I reacted that way? I hadn't even seen it coming. She wasn't even pretty, I lied internally to myself.

"So what was up with _you_ Edward? You totally zoned out there for a minute." Emmett intruded as he dropped his tray onto the table. I racked my brain for a feasible excuse, "I was trying to think of a way to finally beat you?" It was a humorously flimsy answer, but it seemed to satisfy him. "Yeah, and it didn't do you any good." He bragged.

Jasper stabbed his fork into the lump of mush on his tray, "For the last time, you did _not_ win!" Everyone at the table burst into laughter, hastily continuing the argument.

A few minutes into the argument, Emmett leaned forward and shook is dripping wet hair on everyone at the table. "Stop! You're going to ruin my shirt!" Rosalie shrieked. Emmett laughed "Oh calm down Rose, I was only playin' with ya." Alice saw that as her opportunity to jump in "Yeah, to bad you couldn't have played better earlier." The previous argument spurred up yet again.

'_She really needs to stop gawking at the Cullens like that.'_

My eyes instinctively shot in that direction, only to be locked in the gaze of a pair of all too familiar brown ones. In an instant she dropped her stare to the table in front of her, concealing her face with a curtain of silky mahogany hair. Why had she looked away so fast? Why had her friend said she had been gawking? I strained my mind forward, attempting to lift the thoughts straight from her head. All I heard was silence. I ground my teeth in frustration.



"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica commented. _'What the hell? She's not even pretty!' _

'You have no idea what pretty is' I mentally lashed out at her.

"He doesn't look mad does he?" she asked, her voice timid. I frowned. She thought I was angry with her? Why on earth would she think that. Furious with myself? Of course. But any animosity toward her would be completely undeserved.

"No,"_ 'What the heck is she talking about now'_ "_Should_ he be?"

I leaned closer to them, to hear her answer. "I don't think he likes me." She replied quietly, then weakly laid her head down on the table.

My stomach lurched. Was she sick? I vaguely noticed all that was in front of her was a soda, and narrowed my eyes. She really should take better care of herself.

I resisted the urge to jump out of my seat and hand her my tray of untouched food, but immediately admonished myself. I turned back to look at her with new eyes.

She was the reason my family's lives had nearly been ruined. She was the reason my life was as difficult as it was. She was the reason I had nearly destroyed everything my father had worked so hard for. She was the one thing on earth I feared.

"The Cullens don't like anybody… well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them."Jessica commented, her voice smug _'If Edward turned me down, you don't have a prayer of chance.' _I grinned at the memory of that day; I had made sure that she would never again bother me with her persistent flirtations. "But he's still staring at you." She added enviously.

Bella glanced up at her "Stop staring at him." She hissed viciously. Her voice was as deadly as Rosalie's on a bad day. I had to admit, I was moderately impressed.

"Anyways," Newton rudely interrupted, eager to regain Bella's attention "We still have to divide everyone in the snowball fight into teams.."

I abruptly stopped my eavesdropping, completely uninterested in anything Mike Newton had to say. "I don't care what you think, I _demand_ a rematch." Emmett and Jasper were still locked in a battle of wits over the match. My money was on Jasper. "Just accept that I am better than you in every way." Jasper retorted stubbornly.

Across the table, my sisters were is their own worlds. Rosalie, musing over her own beauty. Alice, planning out her next shopping spree.

_Girls_. I sighed and shook my head.

"Admit it." Jasper persisted. Emmett puffed out his chest defiantly. "Never!" I couldn't help but smile, sometimes it was so easy to imagine that they really _were_ my brothers. "You two are utterly psychotic." I laughed "Well if he would just be a man and agree to a rematch!" Emmett started up again.



I laughed and looked up at the clock on the other side of the room. I didn't have long before biology. I didn't have long to prepare myself for the unavoidable events that were sure to come.

'She is no more than a common human….' I spend the rest of the hour desperately repeating those words in my head.

When the bell rang, everyone in the room stood up quickly and began filing out of the room, eager to get outside. Suddenly I felt Alice's small hand on my shoulder. "Can I talk to you?" she whispered. I nodded, not missing the worried glances that Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie gave us on their way through the door.

She looked hesitantly down at her shoes and slowly rocked back onto her heels. "You don't have anything to worry about you know, I've already seen that you won't make any mistakes."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I hissed. She didn't know what it felt like.

She didn't know what had happened, what had been impossibly close to happening. She didn't know what it felt like to lose yourself completely, what it felt like to turn into a vicious monster, to feel nothing but rage and hunger. To be so overcome by bloodlust, that you were eagerly willing to shatter your family's home, and murder dozens of innocent children, for just a single drop. To feel a thirst that drown out all other sensations. To think of or want nothing more than to feel the life draining from them and see the life leave their eyes as the blood flowed though your teeth.

She didn't know what it felt like, to be left breathless from the unparalleled beauty, of the one thing you would give anything to destroy.

Alice smiled lovingly up at me, her eyes radiated understanding. "She really does look a lot like an angel, doesn't she?"

I froze, shocked, and taken completely by surprise. "B-but…how?" I stammered. How could she have known?

"I see the future remember? You're no exception to that." She laughed

I stood immobile, completely speechless.

"Like I said, you are going to do great." _'And even if you don't, you have a family that loves and cares about you, no matter what.' _

I never could figure her out, one moment she would be babbling about shoes, and the next about something completely different. You could call her flighty, perhaps even flaky… but never once in my entire existence had I ever doubted Alice's love and concern for me and my family. She saw things so much clearer, much more than I could ever hope to, and it had nothing to do with her visions. She cut to the quick, seeing things for what they were, the negatives and all. And even though she could see that monster I had become, she never left my side.



I had never seen someone so fiercely loyal. "Thank you." Was all I managed to whisper

She winked playfully up at me, "No problem, now let's go to class, we are going to be late."

My stomach dropped. _Class._

**Special Thanks**

writergirl94 – Haha of course I do! Thank you for your review!

prongsieloveslily3 – Your so sweet! Thank you for your outstanding review! Ill keep trying my best to help put pictures in your brain LOL

Jasmine – Probably one of the sweetest, most lovely reviews ever written! I cannot tell you how much that ment to me! I will definitely keep writing. If theres atleast one person out there who loves it as much as you, I wont quit until its finished


	4. Puzzle Pieces

**Disclaimer**- I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters… (darnnit)… 

**PLEASE R&R!!**

**Btw…** I support everyone that was casted for the Twilight movie... so when I describe someone, I'm going by how the actor/actress looks. : )

**p.s.** I know the ending to this one won't be the best, but I _had_ to end it there so I could begin the next chapter at the right spot.

**Xoxo, Eden**

The Song I listened to during the big finale at the end was **"My Curse" – by- Killswitch Engage.**

b/c it really sets the mood! ; ) haha You should too! Listen to it at or Youtube or something lol

**Chapter 4: Puzzle Pieces **

A train.

That's exactly what felt like crushed me. A train, a wrecking ball, a battering ram… Once again, excess venom coursed through my mouth and burning throat. My lungs constricted painfully as I felt myself slipping away; into the monster that would all but consume me. He snarled at the delicious meal in front of me. I felt nothing, I could only smell the blood -warm and luscious- pumping through her veins.

Alice was wrong, she was completely and utterly wrong. Only inches in front of me sat the object of my thirsts desire. _Blood_. _Deliciously mouthwatering_. I wanted nothing more than to see the light fade from her eyes as I drained her. I leaned forward, ready to strike. I had to have it, just one drop.

This human was going to die, along with every other child in this forsaken room.

'No!' I screamed inwardly. I was _not_ going to lose. I was _not_ weak.

With painstaking force I pushed myself forward into the chair, sitting as far away as I possibly could. 'You can do this. You will not be beaten by some _human._' I repeated in my head.

She sat perfectly still, drawing in her notebook. Her thick mahogany hair cascaded over her shoulders, blocking her face from my view. I waited, but she didn't even acknowledge my presence.

I had to say something –anything- the silence was deafening. "Hello," her surprised gaze shot up to mine "My name is Edward Cullen," I continued, making sure my voice was amiable "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

Her expression wavered. "H-how do you know my name?" she stammered.



I couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. As if all of Forks hadn't been abuzz for months about the news of her return. "Oh I think everyone knows your name, the whole towns been waiting for you to arrive."

She grimaced, small lines forming between her eyebrows. What could I have said wrong already?

"No, I mean why did you call me Bella?" Her smooth voice had and cryptic edge to it.

Her inquiry threw me off. Surely I didn't have the name wrong, I had been hearing it incessantly since the day she arrived. "Do you prefer Isabella?"

She bit her full bottom lip. I flinched away internally, trying desperately not to get any dangerous ideas .

"No, I like Bella." She answered cautiously "But I think Charlie –I mean my dad- must call me Isabella behind my back- that what everyone here seems to know me as."

I hesitated "Oh." Of course I shouldn't have known that, I had only heard it in the thoughts of nearly everyone at school. She had immediately corrected anyone who had called her otherwise.

But then something small caught my attention. Why had she called her father by his first name? Did she not get along well with him?

'_Well, I'd better hurry and get this over with.'_ Mr. Banner drudged to the back of the class and one by one pulled the heavy, ancient microscopes from the cabinet, passing them out as he went.

"Get started." He ordered when he had finished, obviously in a hurry to return back to his game of online poker. It was ludicrous how many rules some of these teachers managed break without being discovered.

I turned back to Bella "Ladies first, partner?"

The only answer I received was her stare, piercing and unreadable. Had I said something to offend her _already? _ "Or I could start if you wish" I answered hesitantly. It was unusual how nervous I felt ,whenever I couldn't read her expressions- to tell what she thought of me.

Her face flushed to the most delicious shade of scarlet I had ever seen. My vision flashed red. I leaned back slightly, to regain my bearings.

"No," she replied abruptly "I'll go ahead." She glanced briefly, "Prophase." before looking back up with a confident smirk across her lovely face. My breath hitched at the sight of it.

"Do you mind if I look?" I doubted she could have actually known what she was doing; none of the children in this room had the slightest clue.

I reached unthinkingly for the microscope. Then my fingers brushed over hers, my reaction startled me. I jerked my hand back immediately, but seeing the shock in her eyes, swiftly continued my task. "I'm sorry." I muttered quickly.



I glanced down at my hand. My fingertips were on fire. They were burning, but there was no pain. Just warmth. What had just happened?

I glanced quickly "Prophase." I agreed absentmindedly, writing it down, and then the next slide. "Anaphase." I had done one too many labs exactly like this one in my too long of a lifetime, and it was all becoming just a bit wearisome. What kind of challenge was a high school assignment, to a man who already had six different medical degrees.

I looked over at her –at Bella- but her expression was as bewildering as usual. I vaguely noted how increasingly aggravating it was becoming to be- being unable to hear her thoughts .

"May I?" she asked defiantly. I fought down a smile, never in my entire existence as a vampire had anyone –a human none the less- challenged me. I was pleasantly surprised, and pushed her the microscope, careful not to touch her again. "Slide three?" she asked without looking up; more an order than a question.

I handed it to her, but then took a moment to examine, to pick up on the things I had overlooked last time we met. She had long dark hair that hung a good length past her shoulders, a small dimple on her right cheek when she smiled, and her nails were bitten to the quick; from a nervous habit I presumed. She was incredibly petite for her height, and her papery thin skin was surprisingly pale.

I could practically see the lush blood pumping rhythmically beneath the surface…

'No! With painstaking effort I strangled my thirst into submission.

"Interphase." She announced without a trace of doubt, then shoved the microscope back to me. It had taken her so short a time, I offhandedly wondered if _she_ hadn't done this before herself. A quick glance confirmed her answer.

I looked up, she was chewing on her bottom lip, seemingly unwilling to write it down. I absentmindedly did it for her; I had other things that were distracting me.

She seemed to always bite her lip when she was nervous. So why was she doing it now? What possible reason could _she_ have to feel that way around _me_? Other than my outburst last week, she had no personal account of me, and she would have forgotten about it by now; humans had a hard time remembering things for long. So why was she _still_ doing it?...

I could feel anger simmering around the edges of my frustration. Not being able to hear her reaction to me was unnerving.

Suddenly her face lit up, as if she had just remembered something important. "Did you get contacts?" she blurted.

_What? _I couldn't fathom why our conversation had taken such an unexpected turn. "No."



"Oh" She bit her lip again and dropped her gaze down to the table. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

My stomach dropped as horror stabbed at my chest. How could she have noticed? Never had anyone noticed or cared about our eye color. No one looked long enough to see the change, not until it was too late. I clenched my fists. Was this girl really that perceptive? As if I needed yet _another_ reason to kill her…

'_Stupid, stuck-up Edward Cullen get's to be partners with Bella, while I'm stuck here with some loser. He doesn't even look like he knows she is sitting right next to him.' _ Michael Newton fumed from the other side of the class. I grinned; if only he knew just _how_ acutely aware I was of her.

'_Damned kids, why did they stop working?' _The teacher muttered angrily as he peered over my shoulder at the assignment. Mr. Banner was easily the most detestable teacher in all of Forks. I vaguely wondered if the students would even care if I snapped his neck; they would probably thank me for my services.

"So Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?"

"Bella," I corrected automatically, surprised by how automatic my answer had been "Actually, she identified three out of the five." I was also surprised by how quick I was to defend her.

He turned to Bella; his expression doubtful. "Have you done this lab before?"

"Not with onion root." She smiled sheepishly up at him.

'_Beautiful.' _My world began to spin at the sight of it. At the sight of _her._

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah"

So I was right, she _had_ done this before.

"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

He scowled slightly, "Well I guess it's a good thing you two are lab partners." Then he stalked away to harass some other student, grumbling the whole way about it how was just his luck to have to geniuses in the same class.

I took the chance to glance down at Bella, who had gone silent.

She was doodling small intricate designs on the cover of her book. I watched as she gracefully looped and scrawled, completely unaware of my amazement. But her expression was strange, bored somehow.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" I offered, knowing full well how much she detested it. She had said so in the parking lot.



She brushed me off "Not really." And continued her drawing.

"You don't like the cold," I mused "Or the wet. Forks must be a difficult place for you to live."

She scowled. "You have no idea."

That caught me off guard. Then why was she here? She had to of known what to expect when she came, and surely her father wouldn't force her to stay if he knew how miserable she was. Then why didn't she leave… "Why did you come here then?" I asked impatiently

She looked back up to me, taken aback by my unorthodox behavior I assumed. I couldn't help but note how beautifully her hair framed her face.

Seconds silently passed as I sat resilient, determined to receive an answer "It's…complicated." She finally answered.

"I think I can keep up." I insisted. I knew I was being rudely persistent, but I had to know…

"My mother got remarried." She answered.

That was is? That was what she thought was so complicated? "That doesn't sound to complex." I disagreed, but quickly noted how unhappy she looked. Did she not care for her new step father? "When did that happen?"

Her brown eyes darkened. "Last September."

My curiosity spiked. What was she hiding from me- why did she look so sad? "And you don't like him?" I guessed.

Her expression became thoughtful. "No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

I nearly snarled in frustration.

I was asking every question I could think of and they were getting me no were at all. She detested it here, but wouldn't leave. She said her reasoning was complicated, but it had the simplest answer. Her eyes grew visibly dark when her mother's marriage was mentioned, but she had no objection to the groom. I was hitting dead end after dead end.

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I pressed

"Phil travels a lot. He plays baseball for a living."

I smiled. Baseball happened to be one of my family's most favorable pastimes. "Have I heard of him?"

She shook her head, wafting around her mouth watering scent. My lungs constricted painfully, and my muscles coiled to pounce. To attack.

'_You are stronger than you think' _



Alice's words resounded in my head. She was right, I was _not_ weak. I clenched my fists and strained away from the unknowing victim in front of me. I was _not _going to be beaten by a lowly human.

"Probably not, he doesn't play _well._ Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot." She confided.

I forced my voice to level. "And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." That was a safe assumption.

Suddenly, she jutted her chin out in blatant defiance. "No, she did send not send me here. I sent myself." She seemed almost insulted.

I held back a grin. Here she was, openly challenging me, when no other human in the school could muster up the courage to even look us straight in the eye.

"I don't understand." I admitted reluctantly.

This was all becoming unbelievably agitating. Never before in my life as a vampire had I been forced to behave like this. I had always had the luxury of simply listening to someone's thoughts to hear everything I needed. But now that I couldn't, every detail seemed vitally important.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy…" her angels voice what distorted with sadness "So I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie."

I frowned "But now you're unhappy." Was she really that selfless? She was willing to live somewhere that made her completely miserable, just to see her mother happy?

"And?" She challenged.

"That doesn't seem fair."

She laughed a tight humorless laugh. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

She had no idea how utterly true that statement was for some of us. "I believe I _have_ heard that somewhere." I agreed dryly.

"So that's all." She insisted, smiling weakly up at me, but I could see the underlying pain in her eyes. "You put on a good show," I appraised "But I would be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

Her glare shot daggers at me, and then whipped her head to the front of the room. Her scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I ground my teeth together and fought through to haze. I was surprised how well I fared.

"Am I wrong?" I pressed.

She scowled, obviously I had struck a nerve.

"I didn't think so." I muttered smugly, proud of myself for having unraveled at least one of her mysteries; no matter how small it might be.



Her temper flared, her eyes still burning a hole into the front of the room. "What does it matter to _you?"_

I froze. She was completely right. Why _was_ I so interested?

"That's a very good question." I muttered aloud to myself. I had come into this forsaken classroom with only one intention; to prove to monster within me wrong- to show it that I could treat this common human girl just like I did all the others.

But here I was, becoming increasingly curious with each unanswered question. None of the pieces of the larger puzzle made sense. None of them fit together.

From the corner of my eye I noticed her scowl again; prickling my amusement. "Am I annoying you?" I asked, suppressing a laugh.

She sighed, and turned to face me, her expression one of defeat. "Not exactly, I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read –My mother calls me her open book."

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." I answered honestly.

She raised one dainty eye brown, clearly skeptical. "You must be a very good reader then."

"Usually. "

I had never had a single trouble with easily figuring out a human's true intent, they were all predictable. The fragile creature beside me was the one and only exception to my otherwise spotless record.

I was getting much to caught up in her animated expressions, and the mysteries behind them. I was in dangerous waters the way it was.

'Do _not_ get involved. She is a_ human_. She is as inferior as the rest of them…' I calmly repeated the mantra in my head, again and again. 'She is a threat to your family.' I began to believe what I was repeating to myself. 'Do _not_ get involved…'

In an instant, everything came crashing down.

It all happened very fast.

Across from the Bella, Tyler Crowlie slammed his book shut, launching a boiling wave of air around her. It hit me head on, demolishing and type of civility I had once had. The monster instantly reared up to attack, his eyes flamed red. Blood red. The monsters fangs- my fangs- gnashed, dripping venom –ready to sink into the luscious, soft skin of the meal next to me. Violent red haze consumed every inch of me. Not even a second had passed.

For less than a fraction of a second, from the corner of my eye- though the thick tremors of merciless hunger- I saw my unknowing victims face. She was confused, and scared.



That struck a chord deep inside my chest. I didn't want her to be scared, especially of me.

I dug my hands into the solid wood table for support- to brace myself. The monster roared and gnashed, beyond fury at my weak attempt to resist it. My body convulsed. I could feel myself being engulfed by the darkness- through the black, its eyes glowed deep crimson. The tidal wave of excruciating rage and thirst drowned out everything, controlling all sensations- my sight, my hearing- all I could see and hear was the thick red fluid pumping loudly through her veins.

I reached out, pleading for something- anything- to help set me free. It was impossible, nothing made sense. Focus was impossible. I couldn't see my family anymore, I couldn't feel anything at all except the excruciating pain of her pulse pounding in my head- Drowning out anything and everything. Then I grasped something.

I found _her._

It was the same short image that had all but possessed me in the parking lot.

She was bundled up in a thick coat, a light pink flush glowed on her cheeks from the cold. Her soft hair wisped across her cheeks in the light wind. She looked up me, a few dewy snowflakes clung to her lashes-making her eyes sparkle.

Then she smiled.

The bell rang at the same moment that my head broke the surface- gasping for air.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't hear, I couldn't even think- So I ran- Sprinting down the hallway and to the safety of my car.

Not even strong enough to look back at her.

**SHOUT OUTS**

Stephanie- Thank you so much. Haha I'll definitely do my best to keep the chapters coming as long as there is one person who thinks that way about my writing. Yous are so sweet  Xoxo!

sylvie90- haha darling that just made my day! I mean honestly, how often does someone compare you to a writing genius/god? (aka Stephenie Meyer lmao). You are wonderful! Thank you thank you thank you!

froalmo- thank you so much. Like I cant even explain how nice it feels to have someone say something that simple..but have it mean so much ( ok im getting all sappy but oh well lol) you don't know how many stories iv deleted off of because I didn't get any supportive reviews…its ones like yours that make it all worth while! 

BlueSea14- Thank you so much for reviewing this. I know it was a lot to ask, but it means a lot from someone who has already been there done that. Haha. It meant a lot. Ps.. I suck with grammar lmao ill try my best later to catch my mistakes!


	5. Unexpected

Please R&R

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight.

**AUTHORS NOTE: ** Sorry this one is kind of short and uneventful and probably not my best work, I was sidetracked with the 4th of July and having a blast on a road trip I went on with some friends. But I'm home now, so from here on out they will be much longer and hopefully much more interesting.  Thanks & Enjoy!

**Chapter 5: Confusion**

'_What does it matter to you?'_

Her infuriatingly maddening question was burning a hole straight through my head. Why did I bother to converse with her? Why did I care at all about the secrets she was keeping from not just me, but from everyone? I had gone into that classroom to prove the beast within me wrong, that I _could_ resist the inconceivable burning thirst for her blood. I had gone to prove to myself, that I _could _treat her like any other human.

I had only succeeded at one of them.

Yes, I had kept myself from showing any trace of hostility, but without my noticing it, I had interacted more with her than I had any human in the past hundred years, which was definitely _not_ treating her like other humans. I was chalking up mistake after mistake with my useless attempts to continue my non-life as it had been before she had arrived.

The steering wheel strained under my grip. Only after an immeasurable amount of time passed, did I summon the courage to check the digital clock in front of me. 2:30. How was that _possible_? It had seemed like hours that I had been hiding in my car, but in all reality it had only been little over forty five minutes.

I ground my teeth in a vain attempt to suppress the fury boiling in my chest. What travesty had I committed that I deserved such punishment? I had done my best to pay my dues. I had turned my back on my kind's nature, on drinking human blood. I had condoned being in a human environment day after day, and had never treated any of them with violence or disrespect. Even when I had shunned Carlisle and went off on my own, I only hunted human monsters, and tried to protect the innocent. Surely I deserved some form of release.

But after everything I had done to make peace with what I was, all I received was a torture more cruel and merciless than anything I could have ever imagined possible. That vile human girl was destroying everything, she was going to be the death of me.

I refused to close my eyes, refused even refusing to blink. Because every time I did, I saw her. I saw her eyes, her lips, her skin, her hair, her body. I saw everything that was Bella Swan, and it infuriated me far more than her scent ever could. The sight of her stirred emotions I had never felt before. Some made 

my blood run cold, and some made my temper burst into flames, while others were so frustratingly alien to me that I couldn't even begin to try and place them.

But what scared me the most was when I was near her, whenever she smiled or laughed, I found myself incapable of thinking straight, of thinking anything at all. All I could see or hear was the fragile girl next to me. Like nothing else existed.

Suddenly a familiar voice drew me from my stupor.

'_May I join you?'_

I nodded, not even bothering to turn and look as Jasper slid into the seat next to me.

'_I'm sorry for intruding, but I had to get out of that building, today is proving to be rather…difficult.' _

Images of humans, girls and boys alike, flashed through his head. He was imagining himself standing over them, relishing as he drank every last drop, quenching a thirst that been denying for far too long.

"It's fine; I'm not having one of my better days either." I reassured him, it was more than easy to relate with his problems.

After a few silent minutes passed, he was in control of his need, and shifted in his seat to face me. Instantaneously a wave of calm washed over me, smothering all other emotions.

'_What has been bothering you?'_

"Bothering me?" I feigned innocence.

'_You may be able to fool the others my brother, but remember, I can feel what you are feeling. Your emotions have been so erratic this past week.' _

I turned my gaze out the window, guilty and ashamed.

'_What do you have to feel that way about? What could possibly be so dreadful that you can't let your family help you.'_

"I'm sorry… but I can't. I can't get anyone else involved…" I whispered, still refusing to turn and look at him.

He was silent for a few moments, contemplating what his next course of action should be. His habits of organization and planning out every move had carried over into his non-life now, from his service in the confederate army. This was taking much longer than it usually took for him to make decisions.

Finally he spoke, "Edward, you have always been the mature one, in many ways you remind me of Carlisle. If you truly believe its best that we don't get involved, then I trust your judgment."

I turned to face him, to thank him, but he had already opened the door and was sliding out. _'I'm going to go pick up Alice, she is wondering where I am.'_



Of course he didn't really know that, but he did all the same. It always amazed me how in sync they were, as if they were sharing thoughts, but only with each other. I couldn't imagine how bizarre it would be, to find someone who altered your life so completely, that you would be willing to give up everything to make them happy- to be with them. Jasper had turned his back on nature, refused to hunt humans, all to see Alice smile. He wanted so dearly to go back to his way of life, but nothing was more important to him than her.

I had heard my family's thoughts, how they pitied me. They each had someone to share their endless existences with, yet I was alone. Esme thought that I may have been too young when I was changed. What they didn't understand was that I was complete within myself, I didn't feel alone, and that my abilities were not only a gift, but a curse. I heard anything and everything that someone thought, whether I wished to or not. I had heard enough to know that everyone, humans and vampires alike, were vain. They thought only of themselves, and I had decided long ago that I would take no part in it.

The last bell shrilled in the school, signaling the end of yet another monotonous day of purgatory. I took one last deep breath cool unscented air, and then stepped out into the parking lot, leaning against my Volvo.

It was misting lightly as students began pouring out of the large doorways, sprinting to their vehicles. I scanned the crowd for my siblings, not really in the mood to wait in the rain for them. A slow walking figure suddenly separated itself from the rush of the others. Her small heart shaped face sank into a frown as she crushed her books to her chest. My eyes followed her carefully as she clumsily pulled herself up into the monstrosity she called a car, and ruffled her hair.

My thoughts drifted to what had taken place only an hour ago, when I had one of the most perplexing, absorbing conversations of my existence. She had confused me beyond all reason, but at the same time, I felt a strange comfort. Like a brief flash in the long dark tunnel that was, and always had been, my life. It had been so random, unexpected, that I surely couldn't have seen it coming, but I had happened all the same. I wasn't sure what to do next.

The thunderous roar of the mammoth red truck filled the parking lot. Her dark eyes scanned the lot, but stopped abruptly on me, before turning swiftly away. A deep red blush soaked her cheeks as he launched the truck backwards, nearly demolishing an old Toyota in the process. I was surprised when relief washed through me, she hadn't been hurt.

After she had slammed on the brakes and regained her bearings, her eyes burned directly pasted me. I couldn't contain my laughter, as she drove out of the parking lot, refusing to look back. Never had I seen such a defiant human. It was undeniably amusing.

'_What are you laughing at?' _Alice's thoughts interrupted me as my siblings strode down the sidewalk to meet me.

I felt an involuntary grin creeping across my lips. "Nothing of importance, some humans can be so incredibly interesting to watch."



Rosalie eyed me incredulously. "Edward, you can be so weird sometimes."

**SHOUT OUTS**

Hardcore Klutz – Darling I love love love you! Thank you so much for your reviews (on both stories!) It means so much that someone likes what im attempting to write : ) haha you rock. End of story. Xoxo

miszjim3n3z- Youre welcome haha thank you so much!! Ill try not to disappoint you guys!


	6. Caged

Please R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… blah blah blah, like you haven't read hundreds of these already?

Sorry this one took me so long to write. Iv been crazy busy this summer, but im doing my damdest to get this out as fast as I can! Haha Enjoy.

**Caged**

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Emmett's booming laughter all but shook my car as he pointed an accusing finger at our brother.

Jasper scowled and knocked his arm away. "The next time you quote that juvenile, asinine excuse of a movie I will not hesitate to break your hand off." His thoughts were a string of vulgar profanities.

"Juvenile?"Emmett snickered, completely unabashed. "Monty Python is a phenomenal film, Gillian and Jones were cinematic geniuses!"

"Well knock it off, you're giving me a headache." Rosalie hissed from beside him. _'I'm going to burn that damn DVD when I get home.'_

'_Not a chance.'_ "I fart in your general direction!" He bellowed, laughing uncontrollably again as he attempted to block Jaspers onslaught of punches.

'_I never could understand British humor' _Alice sighed from the passenger seat.

I glared intently toward the familiar gravel road flying beneath the tires, barricading out the voices and thoughts of the society around me. At this rate we would arrive at school in only a matter of minutes, I infinitesimally lifted my foot off the gas pedal. I needed every spare fraction of a second I could scrounge up.

The 15 hours 46 minutes and 13 seconds that had passed since I had last seen _her_, had been filled with torment and aching. No matter how I had painstakingly tried to ignore it, it had been impossible to tear my train of thought away from what had happened. Our conversation, her expressions, her heartbeat, the scent of her skin had all left me rigid and wanting. Never in my 107 years of un-dead existence had I encountered such an inexplicable scenario. The sound of her voice and picture of her smile were engraved into my mind. Where was I supposed to go from here?

Reasoning with the choices I had made was futile, I didn't understand why I had spoken with her, I didn't understand what I was going to do today; I didn't understand anything at all. Would she try and speak to me again? Or would she ignore me just as everyone else. I prayed that she would, I was in dangerous enough waters as it was. I hated her, but was drawn to her. Like a moth to a lantern, it was impossible to resist. I felt the need to unravel her secrets - As one of the eternally damned, nothing ever proved itself in the slightest bit as a challenge. Yet she had presented one that I had time and time again baffled and overcome me.

My reasoning suddenly shifted course; _that_ was why it seemed impossible to leave it her alone. I had grown bored, and she was a form of meaningless entertainment. Of course it was nothing more than that. It was the only explanation that made sense. The immeasurable dread I had felt lifted, satisfaction with my seemingly airtight conclusion had made everything much clearer.



"Ed, what was up with you last night anyways? You went hunting without saying a word to any of us, you missed another awesome snowball fight." Emmett inquired nosily, breaking through my haze.

"Don't call me that." I growled. I had spent a large portion of last night feeding; it was much easier to face _her _when I wasn't quite as ravenously hungry, and needed every advantage I could get. But even I had to admit it would look odd, I had hunted three times in this past week alone, and it was only Tuesday.

"Well?" He prodded.

"I needed some time alone." My tone was sharp, indicating the end of the conversation.

"What _has_ been up with you lately, you have been acting stranger than usual." Rosalie scoffed in distain. _'Which isn't saying much, you always act like a freak.'_

"Oh Yeah! I almost forgot, are you guys up for some baseball later?" Alice suddenly cut in, smiling ear to ear. They were all effortlessly sidetracked at the idea.

I would have to thank her for that later.

Within minutes the Volvo swiftly glided into our usual parking spot, and they all went silent as they filed out and began the trudge toward the school, I wasn't the only one who detested it. I stayed firmly at the side of my car, stretching out every spare second I had left. The building before me was considered small compared to most, but it seemed darker and more sinister than any of them. It contained within its cold brick walls, a monster, more terrifying than anything I could ever imagine possible.

Each of my siblings thoughts were easy to identify as they walked away.

'_Why isn't he following us? I bet he's mad that I beat him in the snowball fight.' _Emmett

'_I told him I trusted his judgment, but this is all becoming a bit too unusual.' _Jasper

'_He is so frigid, I bet it's because he's the odd person out in the family._' Rosalie

'_Everything is going to be ok, I have faith in you.' _Alice's thoughts were encouraging, but it helped close to none with my dampened spirits.

She didn't understand how tortured my day to day existence had become. She didn't know how dark the thick fog cloaking everything around me was, choking out every inch of me except for the thirst that scalded and sweltered my throat like fire. She couldn't possibly comprehend how a simple human was haunting my every thought.

The human was my prey, the one thing that would quench my burning hunger for all eternity. The human was also my only weakness, threatening to jeopardize my entire family's way of life. I would give anything to say that she wasn't my greatest fear, but that would be the darkest of blasphemy. The enigma that was Bella Swan was very quickly destroying me piece by piece. I offhandedly toyed with the idea of diving back into my car and retreating to the safety of my room.

'_Are you coming brother?' _Emmett, once again, snapped through my reverie. My siblings stood at the building entrance, all eyes peering curiously at me. I straightened my stance; I was not going to back down to a _human_.

'_I can't believe she actually drives that ugly thing, I wouldn't be caught dead…'_ Jessica Stanley's shrill thoughts sounded from across the parking lot. I reflexively turned to see a large red truck thunder into an empty space only four cars down from mine.

My breath hitched. I pressed my back against the door, clenching the small plastic handle behind me. Even over roar of the engine I could hear the distinctive lull of her heartbeat, pumping luscious blood through her veins. Suddenly the idea of retreating sounded much more appealing.

She stumbled out of the vehicle, her expression deep in thought, and immediately walked to the rear wheels. Her long mahogany hair curtained her face from my view as she leaned forward to inspect her tires. Across them, small link chains shone flatly in the opaque sunlight. She continued to stare as long seconds ticked past. There was nothing odd or unusual about them, so what was she doing?

I suddenly heard the scream of tires from behind me, they sounded like human screams.

'_Edward _get_ out of there!' _Alice's panicked thoughts screamed. In a flash, images of a vehicle crushing a small fragile girl –her dark crimson blood splashing across the cold gray pavement- jolted through me. My gaze snapped back to the girl, her eyes now wide with fear, darting between the crowd around her and a blue van careening out of control.

For a fleeting second her eyes met mine.

Everything went black as horror engulfed me. It was going to hit her, it would kill her. My hands shook and my eyes went wide. She wasn't moving, she was going to die. In that moment nothing mattered -my family, my own life, the thought of exposure- I could hear nothing but the erratic breathing of the girl and I saw nothing except the large mass of metal that was going to take her from me. With my heightened senses, things always seemed to move much faster than it would for a human, but in this instant I felt very, very human. I didn't have time to react, to think it through. There was only one thing screaming, blaring painfully in my head.

Not her, anyone but her.

I didn't make the decision to move, my body reacted on its own, launching forward to place itself between the girl and the van. My hands shot out instinctively to push her out of the way, she fell, and I heard a sickening thud as her head hit the ground. Genuine fear thrilled through me. The tire screams shrieked as it crashed at her. Everything was a rapid blur as I grabbed her tiny waist and flung her out of its path.

In a flash of blue cold metal the van launched sideways toward us again. Searing, boiling fury coursed through me as, from the corner of my eye, I saw her lying limp and pale against the pavement. I wasn't going to lose her like this; I refused to let it happen "You can't have her." I snarled. She was _mine_ to destroy,_ mine_ to kill, _mine_ to protect. I launched myself forward; my arms caged her, shielding her. Then the metal crunched sickeningly against my back.

Seconds ticked lethargically past.

Everything was frozen, as if time was being suspended, all I could hear was her heartbeat pounding in my head. It was pounding much too fast. "Bella?" My voice was panicked, she was lying too still, and her face was much too pale. Her expression remained eerily calm. "Are you alright?"

Her dark eyes regained some color to them; they turned to gaze up at me. "I'm fine." She replied smoothly, her arms trembled as she attempted to lift herself from the ground.



Panic thrilled through me, if she had a head injury, sitting upright would only hurt her more. Her skin burned my palms as I pressed her back down. "Be careful," I warned, "I think you hit your head pretty hard." My hands remained on her shoulders.

For a moment she said nothing, only stared blankly up at me, then her hand shot to the back of her head. "Ow."

"That's what I thought."I bit back a smile; at least she was reacting rationally now. My fears slowly subsided; I had made it in time.

She slowly scanned the situation she was in, her dark brown eyes tinged with confusion. "How in the…" she blinked furiously, focusing and refocusing. "How did you get over here so fast?"

Her inquiry stabbed through me. The world swiftly came crashing down on me as I abruptly regained all of my senses. Like a torrent of cold water - sight, smell, hearing- all came flooding back. I was suddenly hyperaware of my surroundings and my sibling's vicious screaming thoughts.

Horror punched me in the gut, knocking the breath from my chest. What had I _done_? I had fully exposed myself for what I was, for what my family was. I was trapped in a small enclosed space with the one thing with the power to annihilate any once of control I may have possessed. Venom boiled in my mouth, and my vision faltered. Visions of her, my lips pressed forcibly against her throat, blazed behind my eyes.

My muscles clenched as I quickly released my grip on her and slid as far away as the confinement would allow. Panic swallowed me as I reached out, grabbing blindly for the nearest plausible excuse. "I was standing right next to you, Bella." Her expression was one of utter distrust as she leered up at me.

All around us a frenzy of voices yelled and hollered, fearing the worst of what had become of us. She quickly noticed the commotion, and made a move to stand.

I risked reaching out to once again push her down. "Just stay put for now."

"But it's cold." She quietly complained.

Against all odds, a small chuckle escaped my lips. She had so very nearly being crushed to death under a ton and a half of crumpled metal and all she seemed to care about was the cold wet pavement beneath her.

She glared up at me. ""You were over there. You were by your car."

My sliver of amusement was smothered out as realization sunk painfully in.

_She knew_.

She had registered the fact that we had made eye contact. It had been inconceivably short, even by my standards, she shouldn't even remember it. It wasn't possible.

"No, I wasn't." I stared intently down at her, my eyes begging her to believe my lie.

"I saw you." She argued defiantly, her hands balled into small fists.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

"No." Her jaw locked in resolution, displaying her refusal to believe anything otherwise.



I felt a snarl building in the back of my throat. How _dare_ she. I had put my family at risk, exposed myself, gone against my nature to save my worst enemy from certain death -and she had the gall to argue?

"Please, Bella." I begged

Her eyes burst into flames "Why?" It was a demand, not a question.

"Trust me." I had to make her believe me, my family's way of life depended on it.

She scowled, tilting her head toward the oncoming sound of sirens. "Will you promise to explain everything to me later?" Once again, it was a demand.

My temper flared, who did she think she was, giving _me_ orders. "Fine." I snapped, not caring about her reaction to me anymore. I had much bigger things to worry about.

The humans worked quickly –as far humans went- to dig us out. Once they reached us, I quickly and gladly surrendered the girl over to them, warning them of her possible concussion.

I prayed I was right.

'


	7. Deadlock

**Please R&R**

Disclaimer: I wish with all my heart I owned twilight. But I don't….dangitt.

AUTHORS NOTE: I always listen to music when I'm writing a chapter, but the next one is kinda throwin me off…. Im pretty much gunna skim over the family argument and go right ahead to Edward not being able to talk to Bella… any angsty downcast song suggestions? Lmao thanks & just leave them in a review!

**Deadlock **

"The devil's minions come before us in many a different form- each time taking on the appearance of our greatest fear." The ancient proverb echoed in my head. I knocked back the frustrated confusion choking out my throat.

Lying pale and weak before me was a demon, the most excruciatingly beautiful demon I had ever seen. Her brown hair contrasted vividly against the stark white hospital gown and her thick black eyelashes feathered lightly against her cheeks. It took my breath away, leaving me lightheaded and unsteady.

I scowled, and silently cursed her to the blackest pits of Hades.

"Is she sleeping?" I quietly inquired to no one in particular.

In an instant her dark eyes shot open, burning fiercely into mine. The violence of her glare knocked me back a step, I certainly hadn't been expecting her reaction, but my confusion quickly gave way to amusement as I bit back a smirk; it was unceasingly entertaining when she behaved as if she could rival me, the _vampire_.

The cheap cotton sheets on the other bed crinkled as Tyler attempted to shift toward me. _'He's not hurt either? Man, I really lucked out!' "_Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry-."

I swiftly held my hand up to silence his petty apology. "No blood, no foul." He didn't know just how grateful I was for that.

He nodded, but glanced nervously over to Bella, clearly worried for her condition. '_She doesn't look very good, she's so pale…'_

Concern clawed at my chest as I turned my attention back to her. As expected, she was glaring suspiciously up at me. He was right; she looked dangerously ashen.

I was suddenly reminded of the reason I was here, to gather information, to see what she knew. Taking a seat on the edge of Crowlie's bed, I faced the monster. "So what's the verdict?"

She scowled sourly, "There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go."

I couldn't help but grin at the irony of her statement. No more than fifteen minutes ago I had easily _persuaded _the nurses into keeping her at bay until my father released her- for her own safety of course.



"How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"It's all about who you know." I heard my father's heavy footsteps quickly approaching from down the hall; talking on the phone with Rosalie. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

Carlisle swiftly entered the room carrying Bella's x-rays and medical charts. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that the outlook wasn't good.

From my peripheral vision I saw her eyes widen with pleasure as she scanned my father. For a fleeting moment I felt a stab of shocked insecurity; _why was she looking at him like that?_

"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" He inquired in the smooth comforting tenor he used with all his patients. His thoughts took on a darker tone. _'What have you done? Did you not consider the ramifications of your actions?'_

"I'm fine," She sounded exasperated, clearly containing no desire to talk to anyone about her condition.

Carlisle immediately turned to the light boards to re-examine to scans. _'This isn't good Edward; all she has are a few minor scrapes and bruises, nothing that would give us something to work with.' _"Your x-rays look good. Does your head hurt?" He continued casually, "Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

"I'm fine." She insisted, her tone tinged with frustrated impatience.

'_Not good…'_ My father strode gracefully up to her and probed the back of her head skull with his nimble fingers, hoping for an unseen cut or bruise.

I flinched back as the phantom cracking of her skull against the pavement echoed in my head, making my stomach lurch. I should have been more careful, I shouldn't have been so reckless with something so incredibly fragile. The memory of Rosalie's broken porcelain doll flitted though my head. Emmett had accidentally pulverized it into dust, using only his pinkie.

Her face twitched in pain at a small movement he had made. "Tender?" He asked, more of a statement than a question.

"Not really." She insisted through clenched teeth.

I laughed at her juvenile stubborn demeanor; it was blatantly obvious she was lying. She had been just as bull headed the first day I had spoken to her.

Her ever punishing glare shot up to mine, defiant as always.

'_There's nothing there that will help us, you did a thorough job with your rescue attempt.' _"Well, your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all." His thoughts were a flood of dark pictures; the most vividly heartbreaking was a image of my mother's beautiful face, distorted with sadness and disappointment. She always talked of how attached she had grown to this place.

Guilt punched me in the chest. How could I have done this to my family? They would have fared much better if I had let her be crushed. How could I have been so selfish?

"Can't I go back to school?" Her voice was weak and hopeful.

'_Go back to school?' _"Maybe you should take it easy today,"_ 'Why would any teenager in their right mind want to do that?'_



He didn't know the half of it; she had said much stranger things than that.

Her full pink lips pulled into a pout as she leered up at me. "Does he get to go to school?"

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived." I grinned at her obvious display of envy.

"Actually, most of the school seems to be in the waiting room." Carlisle corrected.

"Oh, no…" she moaned. It reminded me of the first time I had laid eyes on her; she was sitting at a full table, struggling with discomfort at being the center of attention.

"Do you want to stay?" He asked skeptically. _'Maybe she did get a concussion after all.'_

Panic shot across her face. "No, no!" She shrieked, flinging herself off of the bed, but lost balance.

Her quick movement launched a wave of boiling perfumed air around me. The room flared red, I was now avidly aware of the loud pounding of blood pumping through her veins. I dug my nails into my palms and choked down the venom boiling in my throat. I crushed my eyes shut, fighting viciously against my every instinct that demanded me to kill. I gasped in agony as my stomach clenched painfully and visions stabbed at my head; my lips locked forcefully against her neck, teeth piercing through the thin translucent layer of flesh, sucking every last drop of the precious crimson liquids, the light slowly fading from her eyes and her body going limp from lack of oxygen. Or maybe I should bite her on the chest, near the heart. It would be no difficultly at all to clamp my hand over her mouth and muffle the screams. My muscles spasmed at the thought.

'_Edward? Edward, what's wrong?' _My father's thoughts broke through my trance, he sounded worried.

My eyes shot back open, he was standing by the bed with Bella loosely in his arms, and I vaguely remembered that she had lost her balance. I braced myself and took a steady step away from her, fighting with my own conscience not to strike.

"I'm fine," she assured him as he steadied her.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain." He instructed offhandedly, signing off on her release form. His thoughts were focused solely on me. _'What just happened to you, are you alright?'_

I nodded weakly; it wasn't noticeable enough for the humans to pick up on.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." She insisted, stubborn as always.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky." He observed. _'Why did Edward save her? What isn't he telling us…'_ His thought wasn't one that I was meant to hear.

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me." Her eyes flitted between my father and I, the purpose of her statement was very clear- she was digging for answers.

'_She knows…' _"Oh, well, yes," He swiftly strode over to the other patient. _'We need to have a family discussion, go straight home.'_

Once again, guilt and shame boiled in my chest. The consequences of my actions would undoubtedly be placed on my family's shoulders. How could I have done such a stupid selfish thing? My family had done nothing to deserve it. They had struggled day to day with their morals, with fighting against our nature and instincts to kill. They had done everything in their power not to fall into the category that labeled us as monsters. I had betrayed them; I had turned my back on my family to save my worst enemy. I had put them all at risk for a _human. _



"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

My head snapped to where the quiet voice had come from.

I staggered back a step when I realized how close she was, I could practically feel her pulse pounding. The monster reared its ugly head, gnashing and clawing. My muscles coiled, every fiber of my being demanding that I take her. She was excruciatingly close, excruciatingly warm. My stomach convulsed with painful spasms.

"Your father is waiting for you." I barely managed to growl through clenched teeth. My fingers twitched, it would be so easy…

She ignored me, "I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind." She demanded again.

'_You should talk to her, try to convince her nothing happened…' _Carlisle was on the other side of the room, re- bandaging Crowlie's leg.

I growled down at her in frustration. This vile human girl didn't deserve any type of explanation. I had rescued her from impending doom, and yet she still had the audacity to challenge me?

'_Please, Edward…' _I could hear the pleading in his tone.

I immediately chastised myself, once again, for having been so selfish, and turned on my heels to stride out the door. I could hear her ragged breathing as she struggled to keep stride with me. I only slowed once we reached a secluded corridor, whatever the outcome would be, there would be no witnesses.

"What do you want?" I hissed, spinning back around to face her.

She flinched back at my hostility. "You owe me an explanation." Despite her brave tone- I knew she was putting up a front. Her heart and pulse were beating erratically from fear.

I took a sadistic pleasure in this; she _deserved_ to be scared. "I saved your life – I don't owe you anything."

"You promised," She argued fervently, her brows furrowing.

I clenched my fists. It was just my luck that I had saved the most stubborn , merciless, defiant human on the planet. "Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." I hissed.

"There's nothing wrong with my head." She spat, her tone more venomous and icy than I thought possible of her. Clearly she didn't react well to implied insults.

"What do you want from me, Bella?" I asked curtly.

"I want to know the truth." Her brown eyes grew hard and cold "I want to know why I'm lying for you."

"What do you think happened?" I shifted nervously, praying that she would come down with an unexpected case of amnesia.

Her tiny hands balled into angry fists. "All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me – Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard." Hot tears sparkled in the corners of her eyes. "That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have crushed my legs, but you were holding it up…" She trailed off.

My stomach dropped and panicked fear scorched in my chest. She had seen _everything._



"You think I lifted a van off you?" My hands trembled from the accuracy of her accusations. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. It wasn't _possible._ I had been moving so fast –so rapid- it was impossible for human eyes to detect. 'This can't be happening…' rang and echoed mercilessly in my head.

Her eyes blazed with determination and her jaw locked, she nodded once.

'This can't be happening…' She wasn't going to be swayed, the hard resolve in her eyes made that very clear. My worst enemy was holding the one weapon that would shatter my family's existence; she was holding the power to destroy me. She knew everything; she could expose me for what I was.

"Nobody will believe that, you know." I snarled, clenching my fists to keep from striking her. I would do whatever it took protect my family.

Her rigid expression soften. "I'm not going to tell anybody." She admitted.

Her promise knocked me off balance. _What? _"Then why does it matter?" I argued, not giving way to the relief I suddenly felt. Humans were vile, they deceived and betrayed on a daily basis. Unfortunately, I didn't have the luxury of knowing if _this_ human behaved like the majority. I couldn't simply read her mind, or hear her thoughts. Frustration bubbled around the edges of my already present fury.

"It matters to me. I don't like to lie - so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it." She challenged.

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?" I hid the exasperation from my tone.

Her perfect lips twitched and her eyes narrowed icily. "Thank you."

We both stood in a dead lock, glaring at each other, neither of us daring to move. She wasn't going to give up…

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No." Her tone was sharp.

I strangled a snarl, how _dare_ she. This vile, wicked human was threatened me, threatening my family. Suddenly the idea sucking her dry suddenly didn't seem so immoral. "Well in that case…" I scowled down at her flawless angelic face. "I hope you enjoy disappointment."

"Why did you even bother?" She spat, her dark eyes swirling with malice and flames.

I took a startled step backwards. Why _had_ I saved her? She was a monster summoned from hell to ruin me. She stood threatening to destroy every pillar that held up everything Carlisle had spend centuries building. She had forced me to risk everything, to save her.

At the time none of that had mattered… All I had seen were her beautiful brown eyes widened with fear and all I felt was the sheer horror of realizing she was going to be taken from me forever.

"I don't know," I admitted to myself quietly, and then I spun around and quickly retreated down the hallway.

'_This can't be happening…' _Still echoed in my head.

**Shout Outs!!**

miszjim3n3z – Why thank you!

x.charli.x – Haha I totally know what you mean. I was considering not putting the whole holy grail thing in there, but then I watched it and was like omg…that's totally something Emmett would say! So I did…lmao thank you so much! I'll do my best not to let you down. :)




	8. Hollow

Disclaimer: Like you don't already have this memorized

**WARNING**: If you are allergic to drama, do **NOT** read this, Lmao. I completely caked this chapter in it. It's pretty over the top. Lol Sorry it's like 4 in the morning and I'm feelin' a little loopy. If it turns out you guys really thinks it's that bad I can always re-do it. : ) Ha-ha

**Hollow**

Did this darkness have a name?

I had sat quietly besides Bella Swan- pretending to ignore her day after day, with my family remaining blissfully unaware of our agreements effect on me.

They had been furious- to put it lightly- and three of them demanded that I immediately exterminate her. I refused, fiercely arguing that what I had done was a knee jerk reaction. That if she had been hit, her blood would have been spilt, and I would have exposed undoubtedly exposed us for what we were. I had argued that she was a simple human, and that she wasn't of enough importance to risk breaking the treaty with the wolves. I had promised that I could care less what became of her, and that I would never speak a word to her again.

I had lied to them all, and I had lied to myself –ignoring her was bothering me much more than it should.

They had agreed to letting her live- but if she even came close to divulging our secret, they would take matters into their own hands. I had no choice but to agree. I didn't _want_ to kill her, she had done nothing wrong. But I was prepared to do whatever it took to protect my family- so I carefully watched from a distance, making sure she stayed true to her promise.

She did.

She had never said a word to anymore about what really happened that day. She had told everyone that I had been next to her, and had pulled her out of the way.

Weeks had passed since she had last attempted to speak to me; I hadn't even been able to muster up the courage to look her in the eyes. So we ignored each other, and looked the other way – But once in a while I would catch her peeking through her impossibly think lashes, and I would get the sinking feeling that it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

I was also convinced that she had grown completely oblivious to my existence; she seemed completely at ease with continuing her normal life. She treated me with as much indifference as every other human in the building.

I hadn't gotten off so lucky. Day after day I was subjected to her lusciously mouthwatering scent, and each day the monster conjured up a thousand ways to take her. These visions of violence and massacres were sometimes subtle and bearable, while most were so agonizingly torturous it made my every fiber feel as if I was being burned alive. The one thing they all had in common was that they each left a gashing mark in my mentality, and once they subsided, each scar made normal behavior less and less possible.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't darkest before the dawn- It was darkest before everything went pitch black. I had little hope of ever returning to the way things were before _she_ had come. It felt like I was plummeting into a dark pit, but there was nothing to break my fall. I was always on edge, bracing myself for the impact that was sure to come.

My internal battle with raging foreign emotions also drug on…

Long after it had become plainly clear that we were in no danger of having our secret exposed, I still continued to watch her. She did things daily that awed and amazed me. She somehow managed to make tripping and falling look graceful, and she somehow managed to make her laughs carry the most beautiful harmony. Her dark brown eyes somehow managed to sparkle, and everyone word she spoke carried a depth to them that I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

She also did things daily that stirred emotions that filled me with so much burning rage and fury that I wanted to tear something to shreds- I didn't like it when other men talked to her, I didn't like it when they touched her. Two weeks ago Tyler Crowley had attempted to slide his arm around her shoulders – I had to leave the building to refrain from ripping his throat out.

I hated her presence when she was there, but felt anxious when she was gone. Nothing hurt more than having to wait for the next day of class- especially since I didn't know what I was waiting for.

As much as I struggled not to think of her, I did not struggle to make myself forget. I always worried - late in the night, when the exhaustion from my unquenched thirst broke down my defenses - that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would soon not be able to remember the precise color of her eyes, the bright flashes of her expressions, or the texture of her voice.

I would not allow myself to think of her, but I wouldn't allow myself forget. I kept repeating the very few things she had told me. She hated the cold and wet, her step fathers name was Phil, she didn't like to lie, she had a great dislike was being called by her full first name...

I hated her, but I felt tormented when she wasn't sitting beside me- ignoring me. Her presence had become the most lethal of addictions. Nothing made sense anymore.

For more than a hundred years, my undead existence had stretched on, always predictable, always unsurprising. It had been like a dull grey wall, which stretched as far as the eye could see, never changing, but I had found a comfortable numbness in it. I didn't have to feel anything.

Then I had suddenly found myself hurled into situation that I had no hope of escaping- and thick crimson splattered across the grayness, consuming everything.

My life was quickly becoming the punch-line for a seriously disturbing joke.

'_Edward, where are you?'_

I opened my eyes to analyze the intricately carved crown molding on the ceiling, listening as Alice's footsteps stopped in their tracks once she found me.

"What are you _doing?" _Her tone questioned my sanity.

"What does it look like," I grumbled, not even bothering to turn my head to face her.

'_You look like an idiot._' "What are you doing lying on your floor?"

I scowled and closed my eyes again. The last thing I wanted to deal with was my perky sister's unwanted comments.

"Edward, knock this off right now, you're freakin' us all out. You don't talk to anyone anymore, you don't come out of your room anymore, you don't even look at any of us anymore…" She trailed off.

"Leave me alone." I growled, rolling away from her to face the wall.

"Nope, not this time." She jumped over to lie on the floor beside me. "You are _going_ to tell me what's wrong with you."

I stayed perfectly still, refusing to move.

After a few quiet minutes she sighed and sat up, leaning to peer over my shoulder.

"This is about Bella, isn't it?" She asked quietly.

I flinched at her name being used so casually. No one in the house had spoken a word about her since our argument.

Alice didn't miss it. _'That's what I thought.'_ She smiled smugly.

My temper flared, she didn't know a _damn thing_ about what I had been going through. I jolted up and stomped over to sit on my couch, glaring at her the whole way.

She remained with her legs criss-crossed on the plush golden carpet, her amber eyes full of defiance. "I have some advice for you pal," She began

"I don't want your advice." I spat, interrupting her.

Her tiny face pulled into a sneer. "That's too darn bad," She hissed "Maybe you should stop waiting for someone to come along and fix what's wrong, and maybe you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that no one else has the answer. This is something that only you can work around. So, make up your mind about what you have to do, and do it. It's not fair to the rest of us when you act like this, quit being so selfish."

I stared down at her in startled disbelief. _She was right. _

"I'm sick of not having you around anymore…" She finished quietly, her expression softening.

Her genuine worry for my well being shook my resolve. Alice of all people, deserved to know the truth.

I cleared my throat and turned to stare –ashamed- out the large French glass window. "I think there is something wrong with me…" I admitted weakly "I absolutely loath her, but I can't stop thinking about her…"

For a moment everything was silent. Then she gracefully lifted herself off the floor and plopped down beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. _'Why did you save her?'_

"I don't know," I admitted reluctantly "I can't even explain what happened, one minute I was by my car, and then I saw your vision…"

'_Have you talked to her since then?'_

The empty feeling in my chest grew deeper and I clenched my fists, "It's been exactly five weeks, six days, and forty-two minutes since I last spoke to her."

She let out a low whistle. "Maybe you should get on that?"

"No." I automatically blurted, panicked.

She lifted her head up and narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me, _'And why not?'_



"I'm too dangerous..." My shamed gaze fell to the floor, "I can't put her life in jeopardy like that.

I can't even begin to explain how strong the pull of her blood is to me. It deranges me every time I walk into that vile classroom. "

She raised one black eyebrow. "You loath her, yet you're adamantly concerned about her safety?"

"No, It's not like that, "I defended myself "I _do_ loath her; she is the most frustrating, stubborn, confusing, idiotically defiant human I've ever met."

"Don't kid yourself Edward, I've seen the way you watch her." She teased; her underlying tone was deadly serious.

"I was just keeping an eye on her," I stumbled for an excuse "She still might tell."

Alice let out a short humorless laugh, "You may be able to fool the others, but I know you better than you know yourself." She smirked, "You _don't _hate her, and I'm guessing it's quite the opposite actually. I saw your face when Mike Newton asked for her number the other day."

Crap. Once again I turned my glare outside.

'_Talk to her Edward, what's the worst that could happen?'_

"You already know what could happen, and besides, I promised the others I wouldn't." My voice was so quiet that I could barely hear it.

"Yeah, just like I promised Emmett that_ I_ wasn't the one who broke his new game system?" She snorted.

"_You_ did that?" I gasped. Emmett had come after Jasper and I, demanding that we buy him a new toy. They had to be special ordered from Tokyo.

She jutted out her dainty chin, "He totally deserved it. He lied and said that he didn't use my favorite Nanette Lepore dress to scrub the dirt off his jeep. The moron forgets that I can see the future."

"Nice," I nodded in admiration, not many people were willing to cross our mammoth sized sibling.

"So you'll talk to her tomorrow?" She smiled innocently up at me. I wasn't fooled- she was anything but innocent.

"Alice, you know I can't do that, what if they found out?"

Her angelic smile twisted into a scheming grin. "Oh don't worry about them; I got it covered on this end."

"I'll think about it." I sighed, exasperated.

She smiled sweetly and laid her head back down on my shoulder.

After a moment of content silence, I remembered what I had been meaning to ask her.

"Why didn't you think it would be better to get rid of her?" I asked casually

Her tiny frame went rigid, and then she suddenly jumped up and began striding for the door.

_What?_ I sprinted and blocked her path to the door. "Alice, what's going on?" I narrowed my eyes.

Her brave expression faltered into panic, "Please Edward, just move."



"What aren't you telling me?" I asked; my tone now icy.

She gulped and scanned the room, looking for another mean of escape.

"Tell me." I demanded, frustration beginning to boil in my chest.

Her timid eyes could barely hold my glare. "You don't want to know, now please move."

"Now, Alice." I spat.

She didn't have to say a word. Her mind flooded with images –visions- of Bella. Her skin was the color of porcelain, and her eyes were deep gold. She was in a dark forest, leaning over the carcass of a large animal.

Horror and rage beyond anything I had ever felt swallowed my entire body, like I was consumed by fire. "No," I snarled, "That's not possible." My insides were boiling and my vision faltered.

Alice's eyes filled with panic when she took in my reaction. She took a slow step back.

I crushed my eyes shut and ground my teeth. "I will _never_ let that happen." I hissed, stabbing my nails into my palms.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Edward, but I didn't know what else to do." She begged weakly

Fury was burning every fiber of my body, demand that I attack something –anything. I would explode if I didn't release it. My head felt like it was in a vice, being crushed.

"Get out." I snarled through clenched teeth.

She nodded weakly and dove past me.

The moment her foot touched the floorboards outside of the door I launched myself at my stereo system, and smashed it against the wall. It exploded into dust and microscopic chips on the floor; there was a large chunk missing from the wall.

No. It wasn't possible. Bella –_my_ beautiful, innocent Bella- could never, _would_ never, share the same doomed fate as I did. I wouldn't let her. I would rather _die_ than let that happen. I'd destroy _anyone_ who tried to do otherwise.

'_What the hell!?' _

I spun around and snarled at Emmett, whose massive body blocked the entire doorway. His eyes darted between me and the pile of black and silver filament on the floor.

"Leave." I hissed, baring my teeth.

'_You have issues man.' _He sneered, but didn't hesitate to jump back down the stairs.

Humanity quickly caught back up with me as I re-examined the hole in my wall. What had I _done? _

"Oh no…" I whispered to myself, suddenly realizing something about my sister's sweet, loving face- she had been completely terrified. After all she had done for me, for Bella, I had nearly ripped her to shreds. She had stood up for me, and I had stabbed her in the back for it.

I was far worse than selfish, and far past having issues. I was now completely and wholly convinced that there was something imminently wrong with me. Something had been altered in my head – I wasn't 

thinking straight anymore. I was a freak among already unusual society; the odd person out in my own household.

I listened intently for the voices of my family, but there was none- they had all left.

For the first time in my entire existence, I felt utterly alone.

I sank back down into my sofa. My chest felt as if it had been drained, like it was completely empty. Hollow.

What was _happening_ to me?

My hands trembled as I glanced around. There was no noise, no movement. Like everything was frozen –or dead.

The only distinctive item in the barren wasteland of my room- was the faint red flashing of the digital alarm clock on my side table. It gave me a weak hearted idea. It was juvenile and ridiculously childish - but I didn't have anything too loose. Nothing could make my life any darker than it already was.

As the clock flashed 11:11, I closed my eyes and made a wish.

'_I don't want to be alone anymore'_

**SHOUT OUT**

fairyflosscaitlyn – Haha! HOORAY! Heres a little tidbit of information for you… im the kind of girl who squeels whenever I see a baby or see a miniature ketchup bottle that is hotel room. That is totally how I reacted when I read your review. I like jumped up and down squeeling. Lmoa. Xoxo! You are awesome!


	9. Accusation

**Disclaimer – Thoust shalt not pretent to own twilight.**

**Authors Note: This is essentially my first fanfic… so if I don't write things exactly like you think it should be, I apologize in advance. I'm new to this stuff. Sorry : (**

Sorry this one is kinda short, BD comes out tonight! So my head is kinda somewhere else. lmao

_Accusations_

"Just look at that filthy tramp," Rosalie hissed from across the table, "A miniskirt with those high heels? Trashy _and_ tacky."

Alice snickered beside me, "You just hate her because she's one of the only real blondes in this school besides you."

"I don't believe in stereotypes," she spat, "I prefer to hate people on a much more personal basis."

My eyes flickered over toward the cause of her animosity. Lauren Mallory had harbored a not so secret hatred for my sister ever since we had first arrived, but she was – for once - fuming over someone other than Rosalie. _'Look at him practically drooling over her, it's disgusting. She's disgusting, who the hell would be caught dead wearing those ugly muddy boots anyways? She looks like a train wreck. '_

I grinned as my eyes followed her line of sight. This was sure to be entertaining.

Tyler Crowlie did in fact look dangerously close to drooling. _'What I wouldn't give to see her without those on…' _

My grin instantaneously choked out as a pair of all too familiar jean sheathed legs came into view.

A fierce snarl escaped my throat as scorching flames engulfed me. How _dare_ think of her like that. My fingers twitched involuntarily. It would be far too easy to gouge out his vile peeping eyes, and it would be even easier to make it look like an accident. He would never again make the mistake of looking at her.

'_What the hell is wrong with you, someone could have heard that._' Emmett shot an icy glare at me.

A sudden calming sensation tingled through me as Jasper eyed me wearily. The blazing torrid flames engulfing me, stifled into a simmer.

"Are you _trying_ to expose us?" Rosalie hissed.

"Just forget it." I mumbled, and shoved myself up out of the chair.

All but sprinting down the hallway, I didn't stop till I reached the door of room 57.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, kicked open the door and walked in, taking my usual seat and sliding it as far away as I could from the one beside me –an automatic reaction.



Every day as I silently watched her in the halls, men- no, not men, _boys_- would analyze every swing her hips as she walked, and would try to make some kind of subtle distraction to make her notice them. It enraged me far more than it should. I would crush my nails into my palms, praying that the stinging pain would distract me long enough to resist gouging out their eyes and slashing their throats. It was disgustingly evident how masochistic I was quickly becoming.

What bothered me even more was that I watched her much more closely than any of them could ever wish too. I noticed that lately she had been using a new kind of shampoo, I noticed that she had a favorite pair of jeans that she wore more than others, and I noticed that she never wore makeup, but still managed mesmerize every boy in the room. I noticed how her fingers twitched when she was agitated.

Without making a conscious effort to do so, I noticed the smallest details, and it made me want to destroy her even more.

What had occurred last week was unforgivable. I made a solemn oath to myself that I would never again let _her_ influence my emotions like she had. It was far past pathetic.

The _human _was quickly destroying any hope I had once had of feeling anything close to normality. She had invaded my world, and the only way to get it back was to take it. I was one mistake away from ruining everything for my family

I would tell her to never speak to me again, and then this whole nightmare would finally end.

The high shrill of the lunch bell sounded, and in a matter of minutes children began drudging in.

'_I hate this friggin class, who actually cares what….'_

'_I'll have to ask her wear she got…'_

'_I can't believe that he…'_

'_When I get home I have to remember to…'_

I vaguely skimmed over their thoughts for anything pertaining to _the girl _– another automatic habit.

'_I still can't believe he turned Jessica down…'_

I straightened my posture, narrowing my attention to Eric Yorkie's thoughts. If it had to do anything with that vile Jessica Stanley, it might also involve _her._

'_Sure, he said that he'd have to think about it, is he going with someone else already?'_

I leaned forward, glaring intently into the back of his black, greasy hair.

'_Crap! I bet he asked Bella already...'_

_What!? _I ground my teeth together and gripped the thick table legs for support, digging my nails into the cheap wood. Over my dead body would I let the vile, disgusting, repulsive boy get anywhere near her. The thought of his hands roaming freely over her thin figure while they danced was simply unacceptable. I would _never_ let it happen. I'd mutilate him if he even tried.

'_What's wrong with Cullen, he looks like he's going to have a heart attack or something…'_

Dammit.

I immediately released my death grip on the table, attempted to relax my rigid posture, and quickly glanced around the now nearly full room. Only two seats were still empty.

In the hall the light captivating sound of_ her_ laughter drifted closer. I closed my eyes and took in as many precious deep breaths of clean air as I could- a daily routine.

Three….Two….One….

The large door behind me swung open, sending swells of warm, scented air around the room.

Raw hunger stabbed viciously at every inch of my body. My stomach convulsed painfully and my muscles spasmed. The loud thundering of the thick red liquids pumping through her veins pounded agonizingly in my head.

I had gone through this same torturous process exactly two-hundred and thirty-nine times since I had stopped speaking to _her_. It never got any easier.

The metal legs of the chair screeched against the linoleum floor as she slid into the chair beside me. I choked for fresh air; it scorched like I was inhaling flames. My vision faltered.

Through the agony and excruciating pain, I heard the faint whisper of a boy's thoughts.

'_Come on, you can do this Mike, just ask her, you can do this…'_

My eyes snapped open. Oh no…

"So," He began, leaning onto the desk. She turned to look up at him. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

_Get the hell away from her!_ My mind roared - smothering out any coherency I had once had.

"That's great," A bright smile blossomed across her face, tampering with my coherency even further. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

'_Wait…She wants me to go with Jess?' _"Well…" He floundered "I told her I had to think about it."

Her brows furrowed and her smile faded. "Why would you do that?"

'_Not good, why is she looking at me like that…' _"I was wondering if…" _'I sound like such a loser' _"Well, if you might be planning to ask me." His embarrassed gaze fell downward_. 'She has the hottest legs…'_

You vile, putrid, filthy, disgusting… I choked down the snarl burning in my throat. In the back of my head I was quickly sorting ways to painfully slaughter him. My glare shot instinctively in their direction.

"Mike," She said pointedly "I think you should tell her yes."

For once in my entire existence, Newton and I had the same reaction.

_What?_

'_Wait a minute,' _"Did you already ask someone?" His eyes flickered to mine. _"I bet she asked Cullen. With his perfect face, and perfect hair, and perfect everything- He's disgusting.'_

I suppressed a vengeful sneer. Seeing him squirm in his embarrassment and jealousy was undeniably amusing.

"No, I'm not going to the dance at all."

'_Does she not get how lucky she is? There are tons of girls who have already begged me to ask them.'_ "Why not?" He demanded.

How _dare_ he speak to her like that; I made a mental note to not only painfully slaughter him, but to do it slowly as well.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," Her tone was unconvincing. She was an awful liar.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" _'Come on, what could possibly be so important…'_

"Sorry, no," her fingers twitched, "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer — it's rude." Did she really not want to go with him? Or was she just saying it for the sake of her friend…

'_Damn, I'm stuck going with Jess now…' _"Yeah," he grumbled, "you're right," and turned to walk dejectedly back to his seat.

I turned to her –burning with frustration- and bore into her mind in a futile attempt to discover the truth. Why was she lying to him? Nothing, all I heard was silence.

She abruptly turned and her expression froze when her dark eyes met mine.

My mind detached from my body. It refused to move, it was mesmerized –tranced.

Her eyes grew wide and my hands started to shake.

'_These kids are all useless. The Krebs Cycle is the easiest thing to identify.'_

"Mr. Cullen?" He asked impatiently.

"The Krebs Cycle," I answered quickly, profusely thankful for the distraction.

From the corner of my eye I saw her brush a long thick curtain of dark hair over her shoulder, separating us.

Was I really _that _repulsive?

As if on cue, the high pitched chime of the bell sounded. The small figure beside me hastily jumped up, scooping the books into her arms.

I had to tell her. I had to end this.

"Bella?" My breath hitched as I said her name aloud.

She froze, and after a quiet minute, turned slowly –unwillingly- to face me.

"What?" She spat, "Are you talking to me again?" petulant sarcasm marred her tone.



"No," I admitted, forcing down a grin. Even my own siblings new better than to challenge me like she did. "Not really."

"Then what do you want, Edward?" She quickly shut her eyes and ground her teeth together.

That stung a little. Did she really find looking at me_ that_ revolting?

"I'm sorry," I admitted weakly. I didn't want to do this; I didn't want to close myself off from her. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really." Better than the alternative; her unavoidable death.

Her eyes shot open, fiercely piercing into mine.

"I don't know what you mean," She hissed.

I choked down the lump in my throat, "It's better if we're not friends," I explained slowly, willing myself to believe it also. "Trust me."

Her burning eyes narrowed as she glared up at me. "It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she growled through clenched teeth, "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" The coldness of her accusation knocked me back a step, "Regret for what?"

Her expression turned dark, "For not just letting that stupid van squish me."

"You think I regret saving your life?" I scrambled to make sense of what she was saying.

"I know you do," she spat.

How _dare_ she. After the hell my life had become, after I had nearly torn apart my family, after I had struggled with the agony and torture of resisting her scent day after day. She_ dared_ to even pretend like she knew what was happening? "You don't know anything," I snarled.

The reality of everything came crashing down on me. I _should _have let the van crush her. I should have taken her out of the picture weeks ago. After everything I had gone through, after the misery and pain that had all but consumed me, after I had all but isolated myself from my family; she had the _nerve_ to be defiant.

I turned to look at her with new eyes as she stormed down the aisle. She was a _human. _A filthy, common human. She was ungrateful, worthless, and unspeakably cruel.

Suddenly the toe of her boot caught on the leg of the table. She launched forward, and her book scattered across the ground. Panic shot through me, she was going get hurt.

Without making a conscious decision to do so, I shot forward to steady her, and leapt away, gathering her books.

She wobbled on her feet, and grabbed onto the desk -disoriented. She hadn't seen me.

I gingerly shoved the books forward, eager to be rid of her.

"Thank you," she spat, her tone made it very clear that she didn't mean it.

"You're welcome," I replied icily -Infuriated beyond belief. When had I given myself permission to care about her well being?

The sound of her footsteps abruptly ended when the door slammed behind me.

For an immeasurable amount of time, I stood perfectly still, absorbing everything that had just happened. I was rid of her. I could continue on with my non-life. I didn't have to think about her anymore.

I sighed and slowly made my way to the parking lot. It was finally over; I could go on with my life without her.

Knowing that fact hurt much, _much_ more than it should.

**SHOUT OUTS!!**

vampirebabe2994 – BAHAHA. That made me laugh so much! OH MY CARLISLE! Im so used to OME that it took me a second to realize what it said. One of my favorite characters is Emmett…so maybe I should be like OH MY EMMETT!! Either way, your funny and thanks for the review!

xxxafc – haha why thank you! I wasn't sure if people would be like umm…excuse me? Edward would never do that! I personally thought it was cute lmao im glad you felt the same way. Haha but random freaky fun fact. I wasn't sure how to end this chapter, and then I looked at the clock and it was 11:11, I was like BINGO!! Hahaha

gotbooks93 –definitely not! I think its friggin adorable..well… im not sure if adorable is the right word, but I think its pretty hot (for lack of better words) when he gets over the top protective and jealous. And trust me, from here on out in the story it only gets worse (or better, how ever you want to look at it ; ) haha Maybe we are just freaks… probably, but oh well lmao ; )

Spycat250 – why thank you darling! : )

HorsecrazyJr. – haha YES! I'm not the only obsessive compulsive fanfic reader out there! When I find a story I love, I just can't stop reading. Like the house could be on fire, and id be like jeez mom! Shut up, I'm almost done! Haha I feel totally honored that you would take that much time to read this story. : )

Hardcore Klutz – shatter the piano!? Are you crazy!? That musical instrument is sacred. Lmao I would never dream of causing it harm. And don't worry about the stero. he will be getting a new one VERRRYYY soon. ; ) Lol Thank you for being such a loyal reader! You rock!

EddieandMe – Haha why thank you : )


	10. Lyrics

_Disclaimer (warning: I don't speak fluent Czech)- _Nemám vlastní soumrak

**Here's 2 random little shouts: **

**gotbooks93** – Haha I tooollddd you it would get a lot worse! (or better for the two of us sadistic freaks lmao) and it's going to keep goin like this!

**Hardcore Klutz****: **Haha the little stereo bit in here is for you! (because we both love great acoustics) ;) Btw. I did my research like a good girl…so the stereo and everything are real. Lmao

_Replies to all your wonderful reviews are at the end of the story, as usual. Lmao_

_**Important!!**__** –**_Androphobia is a mental disorder in which a woman has an abnormal or persistent fear of men... And Stendhal Syndrome is kinda weird to explain… look it up ;)

_**Lyrics**_

'_I still can't believe Jazz out played me! He must have cheated….'_ Emmett

'_What was that about? I've never felt his emotions rage out of control like that before…' _Jasper

I slid farther down into my seat, a small portion of my head formulating an excuse for him.

'_I hope he's alright, he looked pretty upset when he left lunch…' _Alice

I still felt unbearably guilty that she wasn't angry for how I had behaved toward her last week. She was far too understanding. I made a mental note to give her my credit card for a shopping spree.

'_My hair was perfect today, I'm going to have to wear it the same way tomorrow…' _Rosalie

I heard each of my sibling's distinctive footsteps, still in the schools hallway. I pulled into the middle of the row, willing them to walk faster. I didn't even care about the line staring to form behind me.

Outside my Volvo I could hear even more unpleasant thoughts.

'_I still can't believe she turned me down! Now I'm stuck with Jess. Man, what I wouldn't give to dance with Bella. I'll bet she knows how to dance dirty too…'_

I snarled through clenched teeth and glared murderously at Newton as he passed. The idea of torturing him –slowly and painfully- was quickly shifting toward to becoming a reality. How long would he be able to stay alive with his severed arm shoved down his throat? It might be interesting to watch…

'_What the hell!?' _Frightened panic spasmed across his face when he noticed me, and he took off into a dead sprint to his car. I took a sadistic pleasure in his fear.

'_Shoot, I forgot to pick up my…'_

'_I can't wait for the party this weekend…'_

'_Mike looks bent up. I bet he wishes he had said yes when I asked…'_ Jessica Stanley

'_Ugh, I can't believe how much weight I gained…'_

'_She turned down Mike, so that means I still have a chance…' _

I instantly straightened out of my slouched position to get a better look in my rearview mirror.

Eric Yorkie was fidgeting nervously beside his rusty, green Impala. All it took was a fourteenth of a second for any trace of rage and hatred to completely evaporate. I didn't have to read her mind to know how utterly uninterested she was in the greasy imbecile behind me.

Then I heard the familiar lull of a heartbeat. _Her_ heartbeat.

Just the sound of it made my stomach convulse painfully and my mouth boil with excess venom. With no clear reasoning, I reached over and buckled my seatbelt, praying it would somehow manage to hold me back.

My bizarre reaction made me feel even more psychotic than usual. I hadn't thought it possible.

The feeling intensified when my eyes refused to stray away from her as she strode to her car. The swing of her hips and light whisper of her breathing were mesmerizing. I greedily took in every detail of her form. Only the smallest voice in my head was yelling how disturbing I was behaving. I quickly silenced it; admiring as she lightly chewed on her full bottom lips and how the dim light managed to sparkle in the depths of her dark brown eyes.

She walked past without noticing me. I vaguely noted the dark rings under her eyes; was she not sleeping well?

'_Now's my chance' _He quickly and awkwardly made his way over the large red truck as Bella climbed in.

"Hey Eric," She smiled, the air puffing out of her as she hefted the backpack into the passenger's seat.

'_She said hi to me!'_ "Hey Bella," He half snorted, grinning hysterically.

"What's up?" She toyed idly with something in her hands –bored. I angled myself to get a better look through the mirror. There was still a small dent in her front fender from Crowlie's van.

'_Play it cool, no big deal…'_

I already felt my amusement prickling and a grin forming. This was going to be good. I was blocking the exit with my car; she wouldn't be able to escape.

"Uh, I was just wondering…"he stuttered "If you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice cracked into a high pitched squeak on the last word. I burst out laughing.

She dropped whatever was in her hands, and I heard it clatter in her lap; it must be keys.

"I thought it was girls' choice," She sounded startled, and I choked down another laugh.

'_Crap! What do I say now…' _"Well, yeah," He blushed furiously.

Oh, what a _brilliant_ response.

She quickly recovered from the initial surprise and smiled warmly down at him.

An unknown emotion stabbed at me when I realized something. She hadn't even been able to stand looking at me in the classroom, let alone smiling.

My grin quickly faded.

"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

The same excuse she had thrown out for Newton…

'_Darn,' _"Oh, well maybe next time," He added hopefully.

"Sure," She agreed. It was a clear lie.

Was she an Androphobic?

His expression brightened, _'Awesome! I have a date with Bella Swan!' _and he all but skipped away. I offhandedly felt a pang of sympathy for him.

Seconds –seeming closer to hours- ticked past. I watched her face very carefully as the smile fell into what couldn't be misconstrued as anything but misery. She was miserable.

The hollow pit which had, for the past weeks, remained frozen and iced over was suddenly burning- abruptly swelling and scalded in my chest, shooting fire through my veins. With what… Vengeance? Malice? Hate? Isn't this exactly what I had wanted- for her to be miserable? More unbearably long seconds drudged past as I critically examined the depth of her eyes in the mirror; they weren't sparking anymore, and the dark bluish rings under her eyes seemed more prominent now. My fingers twitched; urging me to do something, anything. To take action on the unnamable emotion.

Hadn't I openly damned her to Hades every chance I received? Hadn't I wanted nothing more than her demise and cursed her with the same agony and suffering that she had inflicted upon me? Wasn't this what I had wanted from the very beginning?

'_What is Edward having an anxiety attack over now?'_

Jaspers thoughts startled me. Anxiety? I revaluated the situation.

I took in her too-thin figure, recently too-pale skin, the dark circles under her eyes, and her wretched expression. The burning in my chest boiled over- and then it hit me. It wasn't anxiety; I was _worried_. I was _concerned_ about her well being

A whirlwind of confusion ravaged my thoughts. Why would I be worried about _her? _I had completely cut any ties with her last class period. I didn't have to acknowledge her prescience anymore. I didn't have to live in agony anymore. I was free. I wasn't supposed to care anymore. _Was_ I?

Why had her behavior changed so drastically over the past month? Her ill looking appearance was clearly self- induced. Was there something I could do to stop it? I heard nothing but deep silencer as I bore into her mind.

Seven seconds had passed since Yorkie left.

'_Yes! She turned Eric down…' _

I took a quick glance as Crowlie jogged toward us, and then back to the small girl behind me, not wanting to miss a single movement she made. She quickly slammed the door and starting her car. She must have seen him coming.

'…_now is my chance.'_

She glanced warily over at him.

Through my jumbled mess of dark emotions, I could already feel the tingling amusement buried deep beneath them.

Then her expression shifted drastically.

For a fifteenth of a second, her furiously perturbed glare met mine. It was blatantly clear she didn't see the humor in my roadblock. I laughed, nearly forgetting about the previous dilemma. She didn't look miserable anymore- she looked _pissed._

Rolling down her window halfway, she tore her livid eyes away from mine, and forced a weak smile over her scowl. Her head snapped towards to boy waiting expectantly outside. "I'm sorry, Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen," her right eye twitched when she said the last word.

'_I never thought I'd have a reason to thank Edward for something,'_, "Oh, I know- I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." His ecstatic grin grew wider, and Bella's eyes grew very wide in disbelief. "Will you ask me to the spring dance?"

Her jaw dropped as she blushed an odd shade of purple. This was, beyond doubt, the funniest thing I had ever witnessed. Her right eye twitched again; she must be tremendously aggravated. I could feel the crazed grin plastered across my face.

"Sorry, Tyler," her jaw snapped shut, "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool," _'I guess Mike was right' _"We still have prom,_" 'At least he can't ask her to that dance before me.' _

She scowled at the back of his head as he walked away.

In the back of my head I was deciphering her reasoning for turning them down. Eric Yorkie was for obvious reasons, but the logic behind Mike and Tyler was unclear. Lauren Mallory was no friend to Bella, so she wouldn't have said no to Crowlie for _her_ sake. Even though Jessica Stanley was an acquaintance to her, Newton had made it very clear how uninterested he was in her. The tone of her voice had made it blatantly obvious that she wasn't really going out of town. Maybe I was completely wrong…

This whole situation was becoming more and more ridiculous, and the same nagging frustration of my inability to hear her thoughts was unbearably unsettling. It made me feel vulnerable.

Then her glare shot back to me, beyond fury. Red-hot flames blazed threateningly in her eyes.

I grinned back, challenging her. She took the bait and the flames exploded, I could nearly feel the heat of aggression rolling off of her in thick waves.

'_Edward, I'd like to talk to you in private once we get home.' _Jasper.

I nodded without looking up at him –still grinning- never moving my eyes from the girl's reflection.

'_Great, just great. I got mud on the hem of my jeans.' _Rosalie

"Hey bro," Emmett greeted me off handedly as my siblings climbed into their regular seats- Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper in the back, Alice in the passenger's seat.

'_Edward?'_

I infinitesimally tilted me head upwards, to let my tiny sister know I was listening.

'_I don't know what you did to tick her off, but we should probably get out of her pretty quick.'_

In the mirror, the livid girl's eyes narrowed and the corners of her lips pulled into a malicious grin. What evil was she coordinating in her head? Even while plotting against me, she managed to look beautiful.

What a strange pair we made. She was a compulsive liar, and I seemed to have contracted Stendhal Syndrome.

'_If you value the Volvo's paint job, you will floor it out of here,'_

My paint job? What had Alice foreseen? As if on cue, there was the monstrous thunder of her truck's revving engine. She was planning to rear ending me.

I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer as I pressed the acceleration pedal to the ground. I could see her violent glare in the mirror as we flew out of the parking lot, and down the road. It only made me laugh harder.

I couldn't stop laughing, every time it would slow down, I would remember the look on her face when Yorkie had asked her to the dance, or her furious glare- challenging me. If I was human, I would surely be crying by now.

It was nice, after being cold for so long I suddenly felt warm- As warm as a half-dead man could get at least. I smiled.

"I can't keep up with you man," Emmett groaned from the backseat, "One minute you're super pissed, and the next you are happy as a clam."

"Just ignore him, he's a freak." Rosalie sneered under her breath.

Alice swiftly turned around with a scolding glare "You guy's shouldn't complain so much."

"As you wish," Emmett grumbled sarcastically in response.

'_Don't worry, I got your back' _my tiny sister gave me a wink as she sat back down.

I smiled appreciatively down at her. It was nice to have some positive affection in this dark time.

It didn't escape my notice that Jasper had remained unusually quiet, staring intently out the back window. It probably had something to do with why he wanted to talk to me. I didn't bother him.

Small twigs and dirt clods crunched under the car's tires as we slowed to a halt in the driveway. No one hesitated to hurry outside.

"Hey Em," Rosalie called over her shoulder as she strode off into the garage, "come lift the BMW up while I take out the governor."

I rolled my eyes; taking out the main governor would exponentially increase the car's speed. I would have to do the same thing later tonight.

"Whatever you say babe," He grinned and followed dutifully after her.

'_I wonder where I could buy a pair of earrings to match this…' _Alice was already upstairs in her room.

There was only one person left….

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I turned around to see Jasper with a wary expression on his face.

"Of course," I nodded.

He turned to slowly walk into the house, motioning for me to follow.

For a moment neither of us said anything, he seemed undecided about talking - like he was worried about my reaction. Guilt stabbed at my chest and my optimistic mood dissolved. Of course he was worried about my reaction; I'd given my whole family good reason to have doubt in me.

"I'm not going to make you talk to me," He finally said in a low voice, _'But I'd like to tell you something'_

I nodded, too ashamed to look at him. We kept up our slow pace as we walked through the front door.

"Emmett may be too unobservant to notice…and Rose is too selfish to pick up on it…but…" He paused for a moment, carefully deliberating his next choice of words, "I want to help you."

I glanced hesitantly up at him, "What do you mean?"

He sighed and stared intently at the slow passing floorboards beneath us, "I feel everything that you feel," another pause, "Since the very beginning, since Alice and I became a part of this family… I have never felt these emotions around you before…" He cast a cautious glance at me, _'I'm not sure that you know how to handle them…'_

Gradually his words sank in, because I knew he was right.

I offhandedly noticed that everyone was coincidentally busy in their rooms or in the garage- giving us some space to talk I assumed.

"Like I said, you don't have to tell me anything, and I don't expect you to. I just don't want you to have to deal with this alone…" He trailed off, waiting to see what my response would be.

"Your right, I don't know how to deal with it," I admitted under my breath, feeling oddly embarrassed "I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling most of the time."

A moment of silence passed.

"I could tell you if you'd like," He offered

I took a fraction of a second to think it through. Part of me wanted desperately for some form of release –to know exactly what I was dealing with. To be able to place the strange –sometimes infuriating- emotions, and figure out a way to deal with them. The other part wasn't as accepting of the idea. If he told me, I would have 

to live with his response. The same part also didn't know if I was strong enough. Whatever the human girl had managed to dig up, it might be better to leave them nameless- to not know exactly what I was feeling. It was too scared to know his answer.

But I knew what I had to do.

"Yes," I agreed, not giving myself time to change my mind, "Tell me,"

He sighed in relief and slowed to a halt on the top stair. "Most of the time, you are frightened" his expression softened, "And confused, and you feel alone."

I nodded, so far he his responses weren't far off from what I had expected.

"Why am I so angry at them… at the human boys?" I asked in a whisper

He turned his gaze back to the floorboards, "You're jealous"

"Jealous?" I gasped, unable to hide my initial shock.

Like a horrific train crash, my thoughts all crashed into each other.

He nodded, "And today in the car, you were…" He smiled weakly over at me "You were happy. Happier than I've felt you in a long time."

None of his answers were making any sense. Each syllable just piled on top of the other, each word making the other one even more baffling. Confused chaos raved my thoughts. I strained to separate each word, to try and make sense of what he was saying. Nothing made sense…

"Why?" I managed to force out with a deep exhale.

His expression remained calm –serene- as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I felt the immediate effects as cool, tingling sensations rippled through me. Ever so slowly I managed to soften my train of thought. I tried to put the pieces back together.

"The human girl," He gently released my shoulder "I can feel you when you are with her in class, you are so happy, so content… but at the same time you are hungry…and angry, and miserable"

"Because of Bella?" I whispered.

He nodded, "You know how I feel about our situation with the human girl. I think we would be better off eliminating the threat…"

Cold, panicked horror spasmed through me at the thought.

"But," he continued quickly, not giving me the chance to respond, "I trust you, and I know you would never do anything to endanger our family."

"Never," I shook my head. My family was more important than anything.

"I just thought you should know what you're dealing with…" He trailed off.

I tried to force a smile as I looked up at him. I failed miserably. "Thank you"

'_We all care about you Edward… you don't have to deal with this by yourself.' _

I nodded as he turned to walk back down the stairs. Unlike everyone else in the house, Jasper had always understood my need for personal space. Slowly, I made my way down the hall to my room.

None of his words had sunken in yet- like the calm before the storm. I decided to try and analyze every word separately.

He said that I was happy around her. As much as it pained me to admit it, I knew he was right. Whenever I saw her smile, or heard her laugh, or could see her animated expressions- my heart swelled. I had never felt it before, and it scared me. I found a strange, undeniable enjoyment in being near her- like there _was_ no hollow pit in my chest.

He had said that I was content near her. He was right again, I still couldn't come close to even guessing why, but when she wasn't beside me –when I wasn't sure that she was safe- I was on edge and anxious. When I could see her in the hallways at school, or beside me in class, or even across the parking lot, I felt relief. I knew that she couldn't be hurt by anyone or anything- except by me.

He said I was jealous. Suddenly, like someone pulling up the blind on a window, I saw everything clearly. I _was_ jealous of them. _That _was why I wanted to murder anyone who looked at her, and _that _was why I conjured up ways to get rid of. I was jealous, because they could talk and touch her like I never could. I had no right to covet her, but I did. I felt like no one was deserving of her, myself included. She wasn't mine, but I wanted desperately to have some kind of claim on her. But it would never, _could_ never happen…

He said that I was hungry. This was one of the few things that actually made sense. I wanted nothing more than to drink in every last drop of the precious crimson liquids that pumped below the thin layer of nearly translucent skin, to feel the warmth of it flowing through my teeth, quenching my agony and mercilessly painful thirst. If I could taste but one drop, I would gladly die a thousand painful deaths. The scent of her skin was the most exquisite aroma in the universe. My throat dried out and my muscles coiled at the thought, so I quickly continued to the next word.

He said I was angry. This too made sense. Just the thought of her behavior made my skin boil. She had no right to ruin my life like she had. I had done my best to try and amend myself for what I was. I had done everything imaginable since my return from my brief absence, to be nothing but a virtuous being. Then _she _had arrived, forever altering my life for the worse. She was ungrateful that I had saved her, and that I spent every second of every day in pain, resisting slaughtering her. She was defiant and cruel and maddening; I had a right to be angry.

He said I was miserable. As much as I was furious at the very thought of her, and as much as I would more than eagerly sink my teeth into her warm flesh, I couldn't bear the thought of her not existing the world. She had invaded my every thought, and had shaken down my resolve. I knew that, even if she disappeared forever, I would still be immeasurably infatuated with her for years, probably even centuries. I was miserable because there was nothing I could do about it. I was condemned to be one of the walking dead for all eternity, and she was not. She was now and always would be forbidden to me. It was that simple.

My mind was quickly slipping into numbness from the intensity of it all, and my hand trembled as I opened my door.On the other side of the room was something I had not been expecting. On top of my dresser, was a sleek black stereo system. Confused, I snatched the note from on top of it. It was written in a familiar, nearly unreadable scrawl.

_Hey Eddie,_

_I overheard Jazz and Alice talking about you the other day. They said you were going through a pretty rough time. Sorry bro, I know I'm not that understanding all the time. But your present let's me off the hook right? It's an __IFA 2009 with Mark Levinsonit speakers. They were a pain in the ass to get a hold of too. I had to go personally go pick it up since they aren't legally available yet. Ok, don't get me wrong, because this was all__ MY__ idea, but Rose was the one who picked them out. I know she's not the best at being nice, but she really does care about you._

_Enjoy the acoustics, _

_Em. _

_P.s. You still owe me a rematch in a snowball fight. I say we go hunting in Alaska next week!_

I couldn't help but laugh, my heavy spirits lightening a little. I already knew that, when added together, they totaled up to a little more than million dollars. Esme was going to give him grief about it when she found out.

I smiled, and switched it on.

A deep, resounding voice –probably a pastor- was preaching vigorously to a crowd.

_"I've spent most of my life walking under that hovering cloud, jealousy, whose acid raindrops blurred my vision and burned holes in my heart."_

Dammit.

I quickly switched the channel, and the words of an unfamiliar, generic, techno song blared through.

_"We're one mistake from being together  
Let's not ask why it's not right  
You won't be seventeen forever  
And we can get away with this tonight."_

I silently growled and cursed under my breath, then clicked to the next channel. Slow, rhythmic guitar strums flowed from the speakers, and a soft female voice started singing.

_"I can't run anymore, I fall before you. __Here I am, I have nothing left, __I've tried to forget, but you're all that I am."_

Click.

_"Fall on me  
Tell me everything you want me to be  
Forever with you forever in me  
Ever the same"_

Click.

_"I'll take the pain for you  
I'll be the shield for you  
needless to say  
I'll stand in your way  
I'll take the shot for you  
I'll give my life for you."_

Click.

_"It's too late to apologize.  
It's too late.  
I said it's too late to apologize.  
It's too late."_

"Oh for god's sake!" I snarled, ready to just crush the cursed device before me. It was clearly a tool of the devil.

Before I could do anything irrational, I quickly reached shut it off, but the lyrics to the song caught my attention.

"Here I am, beside your bed,

You don't know I'm here, and you look so lovely while you sleep,

So I'll just watch you, and you will never know."

With another click, I was left in the deafening silence of my room. The song still echoes in my head. For a very long moment I stood perfectly still, reasoning with the decision I was about to make. It would be pushing things to the utmost extreme.

I wrestled furiously with was right, and with what I wanted. I could go to her house, to try and make sense of the chaotic mess my life had turned into. I could watch her while she slept, and she would never know. No one would know, and no one would be at risk. No one except Bella.

If I lost control for a single second, let my guard down for even the slightest moment. There was not a shred of doubt in my mind that if the monster had the chance, he would take her. She would die.

Was I really that selfish? That cruel?

The song echoed in my head.

I clenched my fists, and ground my teeth. I _was_ strong enough for this. I could just go for a short minute, to try and unravel one of my many problems; she owed me that much. I wasn't sure how being near her would help, but I had to do something. Anything would be better than just sitting here.

I _wanted_ to see her.

Without allowing myself to reason with my decision, I took off into a dead sprint down the stairs. No one heard it when the door shut behind me. Only a fifth of a second later, the house was a mile behind.

I was unarguably to cruelest, most selfish, disgusting creature on the planet for doing this. If I killed her, none of the humans would be able to make any sense of it. I would get away scot-free.

What made my whole body go rigid from horror and fear was the picture of her –Bella- lying cold and unmoving on her bed. Her deep brown eyes flat in color and her skin ashen.

Just the thought of it made me snarl. I would _never_ let that happen. She would _never _be harmed at my hand.

I was _not_ weak. I leaned forward and pushed myself harder. The trees flashed past at incredible speeds.

Suddenly –as her small white house came into view- my confident demeanor faltered, and then crashed to the ground.

In my head a whole new set of lyrics was echoing- a song that would haunt me forever.

_"So my dear, I'm sorry it had to end like this,_

_As you lay on your back, never to move again._

_I should have warned you that this would happen._

_I'm sorry for my lack of self control."_

**SHOUT OUTS!!**

CullenLover – Hooray! Lmao thank you so much for reading my story! It seriously like makes my day when I get online and someone left me a review. Haha and as for me updating… trust me it happens more than it probably should, most of the time its every other day. Haha im weak, I loooovvee writing this story! It's like crack. Haha. Well anywho, thank you soooo insanely much for your support and I hope I don't disappoint you!! Xoxo! (Haha Btw. I love the name, mine was CullenBoysLover for a while)

Hardcore Klutz – Haha trust me. Never once in this entire story will Edward ever come close to harming it. I simply _adore_ his piano! (and the music that is made by it) And hey! He has a new stereo now! (with even better acoustics than the last one ;) Lmao I can promise you right now that I will in no way shape or form quit writing this story. It's pretty much all I think about when I have any free second to spare! If you have any other opinion about what you think should or shouldn't happen later on definitely let me know!! Thank you for being such a devoted reader!! Xoxo! Thanks!

anime123456781 – Haha why thank you : ) it means a lot to have someone not judge my writing so harshly. I really appreciate it. and thanks for writing a review, even if you _were _totally tired. Lol Xoxo

HorsecrazyJr. – You are so friggin awesome! Haha your like my unofficial grammar/spelling/pronunciation checker! Thank you so much for helping me out with stuff! I'm totally new to this and I'm an awful speller the way it is lmao I just lay in bed and picture _exactly_ how I think Edward would react to certain situations. It's just kind of tough to put it into words AND use proper grammar. Haha Thank you so much for your extra effort!! You rroocckk.

xxxafc – Haha You totally gave me the idea for the nickname Eddie in your last review. Your wonderful! : ) Thanks for the inspiration!! If you have any other cute idea's definitely let me know! This story is for you guys as well as myself. : )

spyroeldragon – Jeepers! Lmao thank you! Its so crazy when people refer to me as an author, cause im completely not. Lmao I'm a regular girl who spends waaayyy to much time thinking about Twilight and when I start writing something I HAVE to finish it or else it's pretty much all I think about lmao. Thank you so much for your support. I will definitely update as soon as I can! (I can get pretty pathetically obsessive over this story, so it won't be long at all.) : ) Xoxoxoxo!

x.charli.x – Haha I know! I was like hhmmmm…. How would Mike think…. I really do believe that he's a good guy and really does care about Bella, but he is still a normal, perverted, kinda self absorbed teenage boy lmao. And maybe I'm going a little bit over the top with Edwards jealousy, lol, I dunno… if I was a 107 

year old vampire who had been completely alone my whole life, and just randomly stumbled upon someone that completely flipped my world around (whether I knew I liked her or not) I would be pretty over the top about it too! Lmao. Thank you for reading and reviewing!! I definitely (more than) appreciate it!

alfalfa7 – Thank you so very much for reading this and taking it a step farther, and reviewing. It means a lot. I'll definitely update as often as I possibly can. Which will probably (when squeezed between work and play) mean once or twice a week. Thank you again for your support : )

Jaciira – Haha thank you! Trust me, I read a tttooonnn of Midnight Sun stories… but there was something off on them. Like he wasn't jealous enough, or he wasn't handling things that I think he would have. I try to like honestly picture myself as him, and try to see how he was feeling or thinking. Wow that sounds weird, lmao I'm probably just crazy ; ) Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll update as often as possible Xoxo.


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